Baby shower etiquette, am I wrong here?

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

that is weird.  i would have declined any involvement except at guest.

you don’t ask someone to throw a baby shower, your friends and family throw one because they want to.

Post # 3
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

That is a really tough situation to be in! I think I would be a little ehh myself about it… It seems a little strange, why isn’t a relative throwing her a shower? Normally people don’t ask someone to throw them a shower. Either someone offers or sure you can ask for some help, but to ask someone and assume they will be paying for it seems kind of rude, honestly. Pregnancy hormones? lol. I don’t know, but I would definitely not let her walk all over you. Baby showers can be pretty cheap if you are just taking care of games and decor, especially if it is at a park, less decorating. Most of centerpieces, tablecloths, plates, etc can be purchased at a dollarstore. If you agreed to it, but more so out of obligation and not wanting to say no, I definitely would set a limit for yourself and let her know that. :/ 

Post # 4
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Nope…she’s nuts.  Totally inappropriate to request that someone host a shower for you.  Even more inappropriate to ask your husband’s coworker to do it.  Does she not have any friends or family??

Post # 5
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

She’s ridiculous. Why is she even asking you to do this? If it’s because she envies your party planning skills and she’s looking for a coordinator, then she should be offering to pay you.  Tell her that on second thought, this is really too much for you and that you’re not comfortable planning something so personal for her. The most you should “put up” is a gift. Other news: planning a baby shower is VERY different from planning a wedding and it darn well should be.

Post # 6
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

octoberbaby:  Wow! You never ask someone to throw you any kind of shower and you certainly don’t dictate what is done/purchase. BOOO what a selfish wench.

I would definitely not be doing this.

Post # 7
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

octoberbaby:  The person who is wrong in this situation is her. You do not ask someone to throw you a shower- period. If no one in your circle of family or friends volunteers, then you don’t get one. This couple is taking advantage of you. It’s might be a bit late to make changes depending one when the shower is scheduled, but at least you have limited yourself to decorations and invitations.

Make sure that you do not get sent to pick up anything, or phone in ny orders for anything. You could end up picking up the tab for anything that is in your name.

Post # 10
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

octoberbaby:  It is ok to include registry information on a shower invitation. I have a feeling the guests are goingto buy a lot of gifts off registry. If anyone asks you for suggestions, diapers are always handy.

Post # 11
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

No, it is really rude and inappropriate to ask someone to throw you a shower.  The only thing I can think of that even comes close to this but is okay is what happened with me and my mom.  I was talking to her and she brought up showers and said how she wanted to throw one with my aunt but knew that my MIL would probably want to throw one herself.  I told my mom honestly that I would prefer for her and my aunt to do it but can understand if they can’t/don’t want to.

But that’s nothing like what this woman did!  Not only is she asking you to throw her shower, but she’s telling you what she wants and then expecting you to pay for it?!  Is she crazy???!  I’m surprised you’re doing as much as you are, and it’s probably too late to back out completely now.  More power to you for sticking it out.  I would not have caved to this woman in the first place.  I’d probably get revenge by telling her she can throw your shower and then doing the same thing to her.  But I guess that’s not taking the high road, is it…

Post # 12
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

octoberbaby:  You shouldn’t be putting up ANY money for this. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous of them to even DREAM of asking this of you.

Post # 14
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

octoberbaby:  You are a very nice person to be doing this. First of all, you never ASK for a shower. A shower is thrown for you but it is the choice of the other person (the host\hostess) to throw it, not a demand made by the person of honor. That’s just so incredibly rude. I would have told her no to be honest, I would have explained that due to my own pregnancy and moving I just wasn’t up to the task. so no you are not wrong for not wanting to spend much on this shower.

Post # 15
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee

What is wrong with these people?   Wow I just feel sorry for you OP. 

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