baby shower etiquette question for thank you cards

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
4296 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Sunshine09:  I think it’s rude of you to expect a gift. You should most certainly send a thank you. They did come, though late.

Post # 4
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I probably wouldn’t send them anything. :

Post # 6
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

I would send a thank you card. I personally do not believe that a gift decides if someone recieves a thank you card so I’d send one anyways. 

I understand that their behavior hurt your feelings (and would hurt mine to) but this isn’t the place to take a stand. It’s like the saying ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right’. 

Post # 8
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@RoyalLime:  That’s kinda the point of a baby shower, isn’t it? To shower the new mother with gifts for the baby? Kinda like a bridal shower–it would be super awkward to show up to a bridal shower, the whole purpose of which is to shower the bride with gifts for her new home, emptyhanded. 

Post # 9
Member
11717 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally, I don’t send thank you cards for people showing up to things.  I know some people view this differently, but if I were to receive a thank you card for an event where I didn’t bring a gift, then I’d feel like that was pointing out that I didn’t get a gift, and I’d feel uncomfortable.  I wouldn’t send the thank you to them.

Post # 10
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I guess the right thing to do would be to send them one.  Although, if I were in your position, I wouldn’t. The gift thing would bother me but I would be just as annoyed by the fact that they showed up 2 hours late.  Then to not even bring a card? It’s just rude.  I know people will say you shouldn’t expect gifts, but I think you should follow proper ettiquette as a guest just as much as you should as a host. 

Post # 11
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

@Sunshine09:  

I would just write ‘Thank you for coming and being a part of this amazing time in our lives. Baby ____ will be so fortunate to have the family she/he does . . . etc, etc, etc”

I’d make statements about their participation vague but ensure that they still provide valadation. Like my statement about family- the reader will take it to mean that you are talking about them but on a larger scale it means all of the family who will love your child. 

The card doesn’t have to be long but make sure that when you write it you aren’t still hurt. Tone comes across very easy in writing. 

Post # 13
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@RoyalLime:  in this case that is the point of a shower. Its not just a BBQ. 

consider whether it would be appropriate to ask that person to buy a gift for the guest of honor, since that’s what’s expected of a shower guest.

http://www.parents.com/baby/shower/planning/a-quick-etiquette-guide-to-baby-celebrations/

I would let your DH write the card since its his brother and simply say “Thanks for coming, wish we could have spent more time with you”

Post # 14
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t see why you need to send a thank you note to someone simply for attending your event.  That seems bizarre to me.  In fact, if that happened to me I might wonder if the note writer was trying to hint/complain that I did not get them a gift.

Post # 15
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

You want to thank them for gracing you with their presence? What did they think they were being invited to anyway? It was a baby shower…a gift giving event…not rude to think that people would actually, you know, give you gifts.

If they honestly didn’t know what it would be like or that they even should bring a gift (and don’t even ask anybody), I might let it slide. Unless they live in a cave, who doesn’t know what a baby shower is?

I wouldn’t send them anything in the way of a thank you. For what?

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