Baby shower for baby number two?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrslovebug:  Hmm. I don’t really know much about the etiquette in this situation. It sounds to me like what you are wanting is more of a baby-themed party than a shower where people are expected to bring gifts, right? So why not do that – invite people over for a baby party, and specify no gifts necessary? A friend of mine threw a cookout for another friend who was pregnant, and invited couples (not just women) and specified no gifts, and it was a lot of fun. I think it’s totally fine to want to celebrate the new baby in this way.

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would just have a BBQ w/ no gifts or a diaper party. Since the dads aren’t really ever involved in the shower I don’t think it matters if it’s his first or not so I think the same rules apply. 

Post # 5
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t do it – or if you do only invite very close friends who are supportive.

Post # 6
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah, I would have a Baby-Q with friends rather than another shower.

Post # 7
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yeah, I think a baby-Q/diaper party/”sprinkle” is what you should do – then you get people together to celebrate the new baby, but it’s not an expectation that everyone bring gifts. The reason it’s a no-no etiquette move to have a second shower is that the expectation is that you already have a lot of the basics you need .  Although, I do think it’s a little different when the kids are so far apart in age – for example, you may have given away or gotten rid of a lot of baby gear.  Sooo, I do think there’s some gray area here about what is or is not appropriate.

Post # 8
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Mrslovebug:  My sister had a boy first and girl second so we did a second baby shower cause everyone wanted to get pink stuff! But this was mainly just our aunts and cousins. She’s having her 3rd baby and were just doing a little get together with our aunts, no gifts necessary just to celebrate the baby! I think if you want a party, have a party! If people think it’s bad etiquette then they don’t need to go! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

If his family wants to organize something for his family then I think that would be ok.  But no one who went to the first shower (except maybe your mom, or 1 BFF) should be invited again.

But there is no reason to not host a meet the baby party or any other kind of shindig.  But a shower is a mandatory gift giving event, and shouldn’t be repeated for a second child in polite society.

 

Post # 11
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think after 6 years, you get a pass on this rule and can have another. I don’t think most people keep their baby stuff around that long. It wouldn’t bother me to get an invite to a shower for someone in this situation. Did you mention, are they the same gender? Because I think I’ve also heard it’s okay to have another shower if the next baby is a different gender than the last but don’t quote me on that. 

 

Now my good high school friend who just had her 4th baby in 4 years (not even joking, she pops one out once a year) Invited me to an “online baby shower” for her latest baby. It was literally just asking for gifts online. And she had already had two boys and one girl. That was off-putting and I politely declined that invite. 

Post # 12
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you, the mother, have full custody of the first child, I assume that you kept all the big items, so in my circles it’s a no-no to have a second shower, unless there is a big age gap, such as 10 years or more.

 

I don’t think it’s a bad idea if you feel like hosting a no gifts baby party.

 

Also, I still buy gifts for those I’m close to for every baby.

 

Post # 13
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@swanks4tw:  Because I think I’ve also heard it’s okay to have another shower if the next baby is a different gender than the last but don’t quote me on that. 

I know this isn’t your thought swanks but I want to respond to this thought.

Obviously every social circle is different but this is why I think the big ticket items should be neutral. Just because I went in on (or bought) a pink high chair for you doesn’t mean I now want to buy you a blue one.

Someone I know thought she should have a second shower if she ends up having a boy because she registered for all pink stuff last time. I think, no, I’ll buy you something, but you should have registered for neutral big items.

 

Post # 14
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@swanks4tw:  Yikes. That seems rude to me. 

I think a typical baby shower is fine for the first baby. For second babies I don’t think you should have one unless it’s of the opposite gender and in that case it should just be a small party (maybe just grandmas and aunts and best friends). Other than that I think it’s fine to hot a celebration party, maybe even an open house if people want to pop in to see the baby. But I think it should be made clear that no gifts are expected/necessary.

Post # 15
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Where I am from you have showers for each baby! Just the same as the bees on here who have a wedding after already being married once.

Post # 16
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@alleycat1984:  Most people only hope/plan to get married once. I think it’s a lot more common to have multiple children (if you have any at all) than to have multiple marriages, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I think shower gifts are given with the intent to help the first and any future children.

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