Weddingbee boards

A Friend of mine recently announced that she's pregnant. I was pumped to host her baby shower, in part because she and her husband hosted a day-after brunch for our wedding. To thank them, we organized a ski trip, which Friend ended up not being able to attend, what with the whole not wanting to ski while pregnant issue. However, Friend's SIL said she's going to host her shower. The catch - Friend has stated that she doesn't want her in-laws to host the shower, for fear that it will be tacky. Obviously, Friend hasn't had that conversation with her in-laws, since wow, would that ever be awkward.

I'm not convinced that SIL has ever hosted a baby shower, and I'm also fairly certain that she has no idea what all is involved. She unemployed, so I have no idea how she's going to pay for it. She's also somewhat of a flake - she's failed out of school FOUR times and and has been living, rent-free, with her parents for months. During that time, she's been fired from multiple jobs, each time saying that she was fired for other people's mistakes. Um, yeah.

I really want Friend to have a good baby shower. She got married before I knew her, and everyone dropped the ball on hosting her bridal shower. She ended up having this last-minute thing the night before her wedding, and I know she's still sad about that.

Help me figure out what I should do. I'm hosting another shower for a different friend (apparently I'm at that age when everyone and her sister is getting pregnant), so I was thinking about forwarding ideas to SIL, under the guise of "Hey, I found this when searching for stuff for Other Friend's shower." I'm not sure if she'll get the message, though (see: being a total flake). Does anyone have other suggestions? Or should I just butt out of family matters and let Friend's shower potentially suck?

@pasquel:, @creativeplannertobee: I thought about that, but I suspect that trying to work with her will end up being really painful. 

@sdrury89: I like that idea a lot. I think she could probably handle food, but getting anything done in a timely manner (i.e. choosing a date or picking out and sending invitations) isn't exactly her forte. Neither is coming up with unique and fun game/theme ideas.

@camrie: Alas, no. I should have gone to Friend first, but I talked to Husband of Friend, who said his sister had already started planning. Which was a lie - she had basically said that she was going to plan but hadn't started anything. Now, though, SIL knows that I hadn't started doing anything prior to contacting her. I totally should have posted here and gone with your strategy prior to contacting SIL.

@camrie: Yeah, I suspect that if I offer to "help", I'll just end up doing it. Honestly, though, I'd rather just do it myself than coordinate with her, so maybe that would work out for the best :)

@sdrury89: Whereas I read what you wrote and thought "Perfect!" :)