- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
BABY SHOWER NIGHTMARE PLZ HELP???
So I didn’t want to have a baby shower do to all the family drama and stress that big events seem to cause in both husbands family and my own.All the women in our families especially my mom and his grandma keep insisting that i have one weather i like it or not.My due date was originally march 11th but my doctor thinks baby will be here by feb25th. So now its even more last min.
My mother has taken it apon herself to start to plan a baby shower for me even though it’s against my wishes (don’t get me wrong i am very greatful for the thought, but given my previous experiences with showers(ie our wedding shower back in sept that was a complete nightmare and drama drama drama) i much rather avoid the situation all together. I am very tired all the time and there is a lot of family drama going on right now within our two families and i just really dont feel up to putting on the super happy happy energetic entertainer face, as it were, and have to listen to certain family members complain and complain about everything like how inconvient our shower is for them and how much money it cost them etc (what they did back in sept at our wedding shower did i mention these specific guests didnt even help with the shower or get us a card or make any acknowledgement to us getting married and they were in our wedding party and we paid for their everything for the wedding). I feel like I’m getting bullied into a baby shower by all the women in our families i keep getting the you have to have a baby shower, its a right of passage, thats how you get the stuff that you need for your baby, it will be fun, you have to do a registry, did you do your registry yet? ( i dont understand the point of a registry when from my exerience no one even uses them, they just get what they like and think is cute)
its rly bothering me. My mother and his grandma are working on this baby shower thing (his grandma is letting my mother have the baby shower at her house cuz it’s much larger) Well my mom asked me for a guest list so i asked my husband to help me come up with a guest list. Well the guest list i came up with was all the close women in our families and like 6 female friends that are all having babies feb, march, april. well my husband made a fuss about it and said that no we have to re do the list thats not how his family does things they have a shower with the whole family men and women extended family etc so i added his entire family to the guest list and gave it to my mom and now shes all upset because she cant afford to host a shower for that many people and that that’s just not the way it is supposed to be its supposed to be women only, shes still upset that she had to throw a last second co ed wedding shower because my sister in laws/bridesmaids kept telling me i needed to have a bridal shower etc and kept talking about it but never put one together so out of pity my mom put one together for us. Anyways, Now i’m stuck in a hard place, my husband is adament that all his family be invited and that it needs to be a coed baby shower because thats how his family does things.
I didnt want a baby shower in the first place, i didnt want all the fuss and all the people, and now i feel bad because my parents are doing everything they can do to afford a lil women only baby shower and now my husband wants to double the guest and add everyone even the men, which will put even more financial pressure and strain on my parents. 🙁
I seriously just want to cry. I rly don’t want to deal with any of this. I suggested to him that maybe he could talk to someone in his family, maybe his grandma and see if she could host a coed baby shower for him and baby and just his side of the family since he has to have it coed and have the entire family there. That way my mom can host a lil shower for the few women in my family and my handful of friends that way she wont be soooo financially strained and so that my husband gets the giant whole family baby shower that he wants for his family. MY husband got furious twhen i suggested this and got all upset that i even suggest it and cant understand why its such a big deal. sigh. then i suggested that i just not invite my handful of friends that would help take off like 6 ppl of the guest list and help a lil and that i just wouldnt invite a few of the women in my family to help shorten the guest list to make it more financially affordable for my mother to host. he was upset with that suggestion too. uhg
on a side note i’m not to keen on the idea of having a large coed baby shower. Having to entertain a large group of people just sounds too exhausting and stressful to me. and opening gifts like (breast pump and nipple cream which my aunt has already got for me) infront of all the men in the family just would be strange and embarrassing to me.
HELP? i dont know what to do. All this stress that i dont want to have to deal with. I am in an awquard situation between my husband and my mom and dad