Post # 1
Hi Bees, need some advice!
My SIL is due with her first child in a month or so. We live in a very snowy climate and she decided to wait to have a “party” until we are sure the weather will cooperate so most family/friends can attend. I use the term “party” because she was hoping that it would be co-ed, and people could attend with their families/children. Sort of like a BBQ and “meet the baby” party.
She has approached me this past week and asked if I can send out a sort of “message” to people that although she isn’t having her Meet The Baby party for a few months, she wants everyone to be aware that they will be invited to the party and to let them know that the registry is open now.
I have mixed feelings about asking people for gifts, but I understand that she needs stuff too. I don’t know! It’s not my personality to do this, but I guess I just need some advice on how to handle her request.
Post # 3
We have had several ‘meet the baby’ parties in my circle of friends (probably more than baby showers) Usually they are co-ed and children are invited, less cutsey games and more just family talking time type thing. I have always brought small gifts to the parties even though it wasn’t a true baby shower. Her family and close friends probably wants to know what she needs anyway and though it doesn’t make sense for her to wait to get a crib or other large items until after the baby is born I see nothing wrong with telling them the registry is open. People probably want to bring gifts to the party anyway.
Post # 4
@MrsD41503: Its tacky and inappropriate. If they “need” stuff, then they need to buy it. Its not up to friends and family to furnish their baby needs. If they can’t afford to provide for their own child, they shouldn’t be having one.
If people want to know if they are registered, they will either ask or look it up themselves. At most, you could inform people that you are planning a meet the baby party in X month. Any mention of gifts is just gift grubbing and gross. If the mom wants to beg for dry goods, let her do it herself.
Post # 5
@MrsD41503: If my cousin was doing this, I would want the registry info so I could get her a gift.
Maybe you could do a “save the date” for the “shower” and explain that because of the weather, you are waiting until after baby arrives. At the bottom you can say, for those of you who were asking, she is registered at Baby stores.
If people were curious (like some may be) they will be glad. If they didn’t want to know, they will ignore it.
That’s what I would do.
Post # 6
@Zhabeego: I agree 110% that’s why I’m having such a hard time actually doing what she wants. I offered to throw a party after ward…not go through all this gift-grabbing before. SIGH….
Post # 7
@MrsD41503: If you are hosting the party – she needs to back off. Its not up to her to dictate how you host. She’s either grateful or she’s not but either way, I wouldn’t want to be used to gift grub for her.
Post # 8
@MrsD41503: I tend to agree that it looks gift grabby and tacky. I would assume most of the family is going to ask for registry information anyway before the baby is born, more than likely it will spread word of mouth.
However, if you do decide to do it, I think @thenewmrsmax’s suggestion would be the most tactful way to approach it by sending out a save the date.
Post # 9
@MrsD41503: Wait…. so she wants to say “You will be invited to a party at some as yet unknown date in the future. Here’s a list of stuff I want”? Nope. No no no. If she “needed” stuff before the baby was born, she “needed” to have a normal baby shower. Why does she think people have baby showers before birth?
Either set a date for the “meet the baby” party now and send out invites with the registry info (knowing people will probably just bring presents to the party and it will be too late for necessities) or staight up tell her no because it’s rude. SHE can text her family her gimme list if she wants to.
(Incidentally, this reminds me of my sister’s MIL. I threw a baby shower for sis and somehow MIL ended up inviting a bunch of people, which was freaking annoying. Then she texts me three weeks before the shower when invites had already gone out saying she wanted to do a “diaper wishing well” so I needed to text all the guests telling them to bring diapers along with their regular gifts. Um. No. I don’t like that whole “bring a gift and another gift” bull anyway, but I’ll tolerate it if it’s in the invite. Like hell I was going to text a diaper-grab request to everyone. Wasn’t no wishing well at that shower!)