Post # 1
Just got the RSVP from my Fiances Aunty.
The invite specifically was to his Aunty and Partner, she has RSVP’d with a note on the bottom
“We are bringing the Triplets (they are 6 months). Pram is large so if you are doing seating we need to be at the end of the Table”
Not once did she call to ask if it was ok to bring them. The rest of my Fiances family assumed she would perhaps not come if she wasn’t able to find a sitter or leave her partner at home and she just come to the wedding never did we think she would bring three babies to the wedding.
We have a small reception venue there isn’t that much room for a large stroller, if it was just one baby I probably wouldnt care, but triplets.
Am I just being selfish to call and say they aren’t invited or should I just let it slide and let there be triplets at the wedding.
Post # 2
No way you are perfectly ok to say no…. Politely of course. I feel that because the babies are 6 months old and I assume they are not just breast fed… Being triplets I imagine they are also on the bottle so they can easily be cared for by someone else. I think it is so rude that people add extras onto the RSVP. Hold firm and politely call and advise you can’t accommodate children at the wedding… I mean triplets wholy moly imagine if they are all screaming and crying through ceremony and reception ! I am not having kids at my wedding so am rotally on your side.
Post # 3
Babies under a year old are welcome at my wedding. Toddlers and older kids- nope.
Post # 4
If it was just one baby I wouldnt mind but three…..I am waiting for my FI to get home from work to see what he has to say. It is his family after all.
Post # 5
I would be horribly offended if someone said my daughter wasn’t welcome at their wedding… but my daughter is six and is incredibly well behaved and polite. I take extreme pride in how she acts whenever we go out. I just would politely decline the invitation though, I wouldn’t ask to be accommodated.
Six month old triplets are completely different and I don’t blame you for being concerned. How rude to ask for space for the pram.
If I were you, I would respond with “I am terribly sorry, but we are unable to accommodate a pram so large it would carry three screaming babies. If you are willing to carry all three of the crying infants and keep them quiet during the whole ceremony and reception then please bring them along” fight rude with rude I say.
Post # 6
Newy02: I think it is fine to call and say that there are no children allowed ( rather than saying the couple are not invited) she just has to find a babysitter if she wants to come. Just point out that the invitateion is for adults only.
If you have aother children at the wedding though, it might be a problem – you cant tell ONE she cant bring hers and allow someone else bring theirs.
I know I know everyone says their babies/children are extremely well behaved, but if there is more than one present you are running a risk of having a wailing competition all the way through your wedding.
Post # 7
The babies outnumber the parents at this point. They don’t stand a chance. Perfectly ok to not let them come.
Post # 8
WOW! What a recipe for a screaming disaster. Someone in your fiance’s family, since it’s his side, will have to handle the call, to apologize for the missunderstanding, and that only Aunty & Partner are invited. It will be helpful if you have an age-limit, or adults only decision, already in place.
I saw triplets at an outdoor graduation picnic once – they may have been about 15+ months old?, and they were confined to their stroller. It took both parents and passing guests, to keep them amused. Neither noise, space, or guest safety, was a factor.
In my area, other than younger bridal party members, who are sometimes nieces/nephews/children of the couple, having under 21s (the legal alcohol age here) attend a wedding is uncommon.
Post # 9
I would call her and say, very sorry if invite not clear (which is BS, it was), but only you and the Mr. are invited. Looking forward to seeing you, will understand if you cannot come. Before you agree to them coming (if you go that route) think long and hare about who will sit with them. Its not fair to other guests to make them into babysitters.
P.S. Most moms thinks their kids are perfect and everyone wants to be around them. Other people may be polite, but do not see it that way.
PPS — Agree fiance has to make the call. But if I didnt invite kids on my side, I would expect him to back me up.
Post # 10
Are you allowing other children?
Post # 11
It is rude of her to assume her children are invited. It seems a great many people completely lack any basic understanding of good manners.
On the other hand, I will never understand those people who are offended that their children are not invited. Hosts are entitled to decide their guestlist. Children are not invited to many workplaces. What do these parents do? Decline to go to work because they are offended that their children are not invited?
I highly doubt that this woman is breastfeeding triplets. If she doesn’t want to attend without the children, she is welcome to decline the invitation.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone, I am off to visit the inlaws this morning to see what they want to do. There are no other children at the wedding, we counted the other day and if we allowed all our cousins to bring their children there would be an extra 17 guests (ranging from 0 to 8 years). I’ll let you know the outcome.
I also have the rule for my older cousins that if I haven’t met their gf/bf and they aren’t living together they aren’t invited and they all seemed fine with that and understanding.
Post # 13
I would talk to your fiance in private first, good luck
Post # 14
Newy02: I agree with you that I wouldn’t want triplets near my wedding, but I think it’s a bit strange to say 1 would be ok but 3 isn’t, I’m assuming the lady didn’t have a choice in the matter of how many babies she had and it’s a bit discriminatoty to say 1 is ok.
Post # 15
If you’re not having any other children at the wedding I think it’s perfectly reasonable to tell them you’re sorry, but they cannot bring their triplets.