Post # 1
I am having some difficulty dealing with leaving my toddler with a 13 yr old babysitter. My husbands side of the family has a big party to go to and obviously were invited. But the main family members are aloud to bring their kids but we are not allowed to. I could careless on going i dont know anyone and my husband always takes off on me. But his parents sat me down and told me i am in the wrong for not letting thier grand child babysit my kid. So i caved and asked him if he could babysit, and he said sure. But then after agreeing to everything my husband asked him are you going to change his diapers and he said no. Then about ten minutes later he put him on top of pool table and didnt bother to pick him up. i have some serious issues with who watches my kids cause i have been babysat many times in my life resulting in me almost dying, also two broken arms and stiches. So I dont know how to act on this, i have big trust issues.
Post # 3
@suez: um. Part of babysitting a toddler is changing diapers. If he won’t do on of the basic functions of a babysitter he can’t babysit. And obviously the pool table thing is a safety issue. Don’t put your child at risk to keep your MIL from nagging you. Tell her exactly why you aren’t having him sit.
Post # 4
@suez: …when in doubt, two is better than one. Sure, the 13 year old can babysit, find an older, more experienced sitter to supervise if you aren’t confident, like a cousin or older sibling….that way, you’re still letting it happen, but with a more seasoned and responsible person in the house at the same time.
Post # 5
@suez: They sat you down and told you that you were ‘in the wrong’ for not wanting this 13 yr old to babysit? That’s messed up. Why are they so interested in having him babysit? It’s not their place or responsibility to decide what’s ok/not ok for your child.
Sounds like he isn’t really that interested anyway if he’s not willing to change diapers and left your child on a pool table. I would be telling the in-laws that you don’t think this 13 year old is mature enough to babysit a toddler and that you will be finding a different, trustworthy babysitter for the times when you need.
Post # 6
I started baby-sitting when I was 11, and I was a great and responsible baby-sitter. However, that is definitely not true of all 11-year-olds (or 12, or 13, etc). When I started baby-sitting for families for the first time, sometimes they would have me come over and “practice” baby-sitting for a couple of hours–like, they would be there, but I would be taking care of the baby so they could see that I knew what I was doing (including diapers, making bottles, etc.). Could you have this child do that? And, needless to say, only have him baby-sit if he meets your standards!!
Post # 7
@suez: I babysat a 2 year old when I was 13. She’s a fine young lady today and nothing was ever broken or even so much as scratched. 🙂 However, I was very mature and responsible 13-year-old, and was willing to change her pull ups as needed. This kid doesn’t sound like he even wants to babysit.
Post # 8
@suez: Please do not let them bully you into leaving your child with a 13 year old boy who is clearly not mature enough for the task.
2 year olds need much more supervision than older children. It doesn’t sound like he is up to the task. Additionally 13 year old boys are not known for their high functioning brains haha.
I was a fine babysitter at around 11-12, but girls tend to mature faster than boys, and I never really babysat infants or toddlers at that age, it was always older kids.
Post # 9
Yes, they sat me down and my husband was in the living and they both sat me down at the kitchen table like i was a child and said i was worng for not trusting other to watch my baby. I am a home stay mom i have no need to drop my kid off, plus when i do i have approperate person to watch my kid, just so happens that two of those ppl are busy that day. Then they said i was to trust the 13 yr old cause hes family. Made me feel weird and question my ablity to judge who can be most resposniable to watch my child. Then they said we used to so it all the time and your husband was so excited to get dropped off they fed him a bunch of candy and pop all night. 😐
Post # 10
@suez: You’re the mom. You and your husband decide who cares for your child. No one else’s opinion matters.
Post # 11
Ummmm no. Hell no. He is a 13 yr old boy that obviously doesn’t WANT to, nor can he. Hire a babysitter. Use sittercity.com or care.com to find someone in your area that has had a background check performed and that has references from other families.
Post # 12
@suez: I would also be a little weirded out that they are pushing this so much. Its very weird.
Post # 13
@suez: Nothing is more important than keeping your child safe. Nothing. You are responsible, first and foremost, for your child’s safety. If you don’t feel comfortable having this 13-year-old child babysit your 2-year-old, DON’T ALLOW IT. Give any reason you want to, the bottom line is this is your kid, your decision. Don’t risk your child’s safety for even 5 minutes, ever.
Post # 14
@suez: Your child- your rules! If you don’t feel comfortable with having the 13 yr old babysit, it’s your right to say no. That’s rude they are bullying you into it. They need to be put in their place.
Post # 15
He certainly wasn’t excited when i told him, he was playing with his phone so maybe he wasnt even paying attention cause he didnt even have any questions. My husband always backs up his family and never thinking about what could happen. I get the feeling that my husband told his parents to both talk to me when i wasnt in the room, cause i really thought it was wierd that they did that. i went to tell my husband when he was in the livingroom he got up and said i dont want to talk about it and wouldnt look at me. Then i said if we do go then we will stay from 5-8 and he said F that, and i said well thats what your dad suggested to me.
Post # 16
NO you aren’t wrong for not trusting others with YOR BABY.
THEY are wrong for TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR BABY
Fire his irresponsible teenage ass and get a REAL sitter.
Even if you hhve to do it behind husband’s back like he did with you and the 13-year-old-kid.
That’s not and OK way for a dad to act – YOU AND THE BABY are his family now, you both should come before what his extended family wants.
Don’t go to the party if this is going to turn into an issue, he’s a big boy, he can go by himself.
He should have declined the invite if they’re selectively inviting certain family kids, anyway.