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Me and my FI were going to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette night but I talked him into having his own. Of course wlth the perverted brothers that he has, they took him to a strip club. I dont mind strip clubs but do mind private strippers, there is a difference. In a strip club there is no contact, well the ones where im from are like that, so there is no touching and when he got his 2 lap dances there are bouncers in the room to make sure there is no contact which I know he would never do anyways. It does make me a little bit uncomfortable too but he's a man and its natural, he sees shit like that on tv anyways so i dont even care. Im having my bachelorette night tomorrow and we're going to male encounters and he's uncomfortable about it as well but oh well too bad, he chose to go there i will too, haha. I mean, it only happens once so just let him have his fun as long as he comes home at a decent hour. And those strippers only care about making their money, they wont have a personal connection with your man. Did you have your bachelorette night yet? What are you doing? Maybe you can plan to go to male encounters too and see what he thinks about it? I bet he wont like the fact that men are going to be rubbing all over you and maybe he'll change his mind about going. I didnt tell my FI we were going to the male strip club after his night and now he regrets going, oh well tough babe!
I say set ground rules. Your FI loves you and should respect your rules. Some grooms really just do the stripper thing for the sake of their friends/groomsmen.
That said, if it's truly not okay in your mind for this to be happening, you have the right to tell your FI.
So me and my hubs have had lots of talks about what we're comfortable and what we're not comfortable with. Honestly, right now what your guy is saying might be true but it's a fairly go to line. If you're feeling insecure then you've still got unanswered questions so I'd try to have a more open conversation with him until he gives you more than just the standard line, even if it is true for him.
We're doing a whole weekend thing, renting a pontoon and going out on a sandbar and just relaxing all day. Just something simple with all my girls, i'm so excited about it. I did go back and forth with Fi last night if he could have a stripper, then i was going to get one too and he didn't like the thought about that at all. But, he trusts me as well. Then i told him, that i wouldn't even want one that i already told my bridesmaids not to get one, because i don't want any other man rubbing up on me. Sometimes, i think i'm a little to nice...maybe i should have played the game a little bit to make him sweat. He was the insecure one when we started dating, because he had been hurt. I've gained his trust, but he still has a BIG problem and gets very insecure when guys hit on me or i talk about having strippers.. I was hoping that they would plan the guys party the same night as mine, but unfortuatley a lot of them are busy the weekend of mine. I thought that it would help keep my mind off it atleast while fi is out, but now his will be the weekend after mine and the weekend before the wedding..
So if he doesnt respect how you feel about this, then you tell him you're getting male strippers, fair and square,maybe he will tell the guys to change the plans
Thought I'd chime in on one of these bachelor party threads. At-Home strippers are grody. If his buds want to do that, they're disgusting and probably have creepy mustaches and wear sunglasses indoors when purchasing "reading" materials. Stripclubs on the other hand, are more humiliating, funny and awkward for a bachelor party than sexual and cheaty. And they are definitely much more for the guys than the groom. The groom, in my experience, tends to have the lamest time at bachelor party stripclub jaunts. The time I went to one, everyone pooled their money to purchase the groom a very public lap-dance type-experience with the nastiest, most beat stripper we could find. (No offense Star, or Destiny, or whoever you were!). She essentially beat the hell out of him with his own belt and sauntered around him in some fake dominatrix style of stomping about. OMG, it was the funniest thing we've ever seen, but I won't go into details. When I tell this story to other guys, they all tend to say something similar: the groom was humiliated in some public way, and Trent, with the creepy mustache and the aviators was missing for an hour and a half and now has no cash.
So it tends to be no fun for the groom, and so I don't understand why grooms keep goin' back to that well. Okay, it's the boobies. That's why. But like Tammyt112 said, there are less creepy and humiliating avenues for boys out there that don't make one ponder, "What happened to this young lady when she was 12 that caused her to be on this stage right now, riding me while I'm on all fours, and giving me a wedgie? God, I hate my friends. Can't we go somewhere I can buy alcohol?"
Your groom is doing his single buddies a favor, and will be taking one for the team. So be queezey a bit, roll your eyes, and try to get over it because nothing bad is going to happen. Now if he wants to order in strippers to the hotel/house... blech. That's just fraught with peril. Even if the groom is trustworthy, you don't want to put other married/dating guys at your party through that sort of peril. Gotta think about them too . . . and their wives/girlfriends. They may not have the same solid footing in their relationships. I know I don't wanna send my guys back to their houses to angry, suspicious, whining significant others. I want them to have fun and not worry about what they can or can't tell their wives.
So yeah. What Tammyt112 said.
Yeah if he's going to do the stripper thing, definitely make sure it's a club and not a "house call" - those chicks do some NASTY stuff. At my friend's sister's husbands bachelor party they had a house call stripper and without getting into the vile disgusting details, basically someone else's husband cheated on his wife at the party. No intercourse, but stuff that DEFINITELY constitutes cheating. Not a good scene.
Yup Kittyachi,so true. My FI's brother had 2 private strippers at a hotel for his bachelor night and yes he did get his own room with both of them after watching them stick dildos in each other for hours, then he came back 5 hrs later and told the guys he passed out in a ditch somewhere outside and sprained his ankle. So gross and desperate i think! When my FI got home from the strip club he was disgusted by the strippers, him and his dad were making fun of them all night long because they had cellulite and were just straight up nasty, the one that gave him a lap dance had no teeth and he said to his perverted brothers, 'at least find someone hotter than tammy, good luck with that'.
He did go just for his brothers, one is married with 2 kids and he was the one not wanting to go home, he was the one that wanted to hop to another strip club, i feel bad for his wife, im so grateful that my FI isnt like that. He would never waste his money on that kind of stuff. So mostly the groom IS doing it for his buddies not for himself
If it helps, my FI decided that for our parties (and for always, of course) we would "play by the same rules." If I'm not comfortable with him having strippers, I certainly won't have one. And vice versa. I think it's a bit worrisome that he's okay with it for him and the guys and not for you. I'm not saying that's a huge deal, but just something to maybe talk to him about.
My FI doesn't want to have strippers at his bachelor party. As a reward for being a good boy and saying "No strippers" I am getting a surprise 50's pin-up style boudoir shoot done and will put together a book of the pictures for him.
I really don't care about my FI having strippers. They're usually just trying to humiliate the groom. The last bachelor party he attended he came home very proud saying that he "Made it Rain" on a stripper haha.
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So, last night my Fi gets a call from one of his buddies inquiriing about what he wants to do for his bachelor party. I've already filled his ear with what i thought about strippers, but of course his buddy asks and all Ryan can say is i don't know. He wouldn't tell him yes or no, but he just giggles like a little boy! I'm a pretty confident person and i trust my fiance, but the thought of strippers dancing all over my man makes me queezy! My Fi used to be quite the partier back before he met me and has settled down a lot, but his friends are all still mostly single and big time partiers. I guess i have an insecurity about it all. Fi said they wouldn't be fore him, they would be for the guys blah blah blah, he said he could care a less, but the guys would want them. I just know what strippers do to the groom at bachelor parties and i don't want some girl rubbing up on my man. Advice?