Post # 1
My fiance just got back from his weekend away with the guys. As tradition goes they hit up a strip joint. Of course he was honest about this because I told him If I found out later there would be no wedding, and he would owe the first payment my rents shelled out which thus far is already 10k. Among, the group were brothers, friends, and cousins. They all agreed to not tell the women of course, because many of the wives feel very strongly about this and there husbands are WELL aware of this. My fiance told me I couldn’t say anything to the other women. One of which I am very close too. I feel that I see this differently. I am not at all threatened by a trashy girl with fake ones being on my dude. I am very secure with myself. I feel this way. What do I get? male strippers do not turn me on at ALL. Lets face it most are gay that do those male reviews and I would rather not have some dudes junk in my face. So my question is this if it’s the guys last night of freedom and they get to have naked chicks, what do I get? The eqivalent to that for me in NOT male strippers that are mostly gay.
Post # 3
I’m not sure I understand your need to want an "equivalent." I also don’t like male strippers, so my bachelorette was me and my closest girls having a great weekend. I know my fiance will probably have a stripper at his bachelor party, which I’m fine with, but I don’t feel the need to one up him or even things out. He’ll have his party the way he wants it just as I had mine.
Post # 4
Again, such a double standard.
Post # 5
I think it would be if he told you that he would be mad if you had a stripper, but that doesn’t seem to be the case since you said you don’t want one anyway. if I wanted one, I would have had one and it wouldn’t have been an issue. I happen to feel the same as you and I’m not interested in male strippers.
Post # 6
I think that you have found the equivalent of female strippers- male strippers. You not liking them has nothing to do with the fact that they are equivalent. If you are asking for different ideas that would be considered "equivalent", then that’s something else entirely (and can run the list from an expensive spa weekend being rubbed by someone or a weekend of gambeling- totally depends on you).
Post # 7
Well, the behavior that goes on at a bachelor party isn’t something that women want to ever deal with or necessarily encounter in their marriage. So for women, their bachelorette party is a chance to go out and do whatever they possibly want, glamorous, daring, girly, drunken, or otherwise, without fear of annoyance or judgment by the men.
Now, to answer the stripper question honestly and with an extreme chance of being far too blunt here, I will bring you an SAT verbal question:
Female strippers are to men what _______ are to women:
A. Ginormous Amounts of Wine
- B. Adult Toys
D. Male Strippers
Of course, any of these could be correct, but if you want to "get even" or have an equivalent, that’s the real ticket for most. I don’t see the point, but it seems like you’re looking for something that would make them feel insecure as well. Host an adult toy party. Heck, some may even like it so perhaps you’re back at square one.
I’m just saying……
Post # 8
Yeah, maybe you can clarify. You’re saying you don’t care about the stripper thing, but then want some "pay back". Did you have a shower? I guess that could be your thing, while he had a bachelor party. Are your having bachelorette party, even if it doesn’t include strippers?
I guess I’m thinking if you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel the need for an equivalent. But maybe it’s about spending money or your friends showing you they want to do something for you????
Post # 9
My fiance and I talk about everything. Since the traditional bachleor party involves drunken debauchery with strippers, I feel that it’s a double standard to the BTB. I don’t need an equivalent. I want to have a good time as well. Why should I not be able to be turned on. Male strippers are not HOT to look at. Let’s face it. Men and women are wired dfferently, I realize this. I just find it absurd that the men that attended this party had to make a boyscout pact basically that noone would tell there wives. I don’t think women feel so strongly about this out of jealousy. For them I think it’s respect. If you respect your marriage why do you need some naked stripper grinding on you. I am certainly not jealous of a stripper. I am secure in my own skin. I want to know why the brides traditional bach party doesn’t involve the same things. male strippers are not even naked. they wear stupid costumes and cover there shlongs in disgusting g-strings. I’d rather be all over some hot guy than encounter a male stripper for the night.
Post # 10
I’m confused… Are you looking for specific advice about how to have an "equivalent" bachelorette party to your Fi’s? Or are you generally just venting about the double standard you see in bachelor vs. bachelorette parties and are looking for some validation/understanding? I think if you clarify your exact question (i.e. How do I get back at my Fi for his bachelor party? OR Do you all think there is a double standard that exists, and what do you think would be an "equivalent" to strippers if the hypothetical BTB is not into male strippers?) might get you more relevant responses.
Post # 11
yes – I agree with Mrs. Spring, this seems more like a vent. If you are looking for some ideas as to what to do for your bachelorette party, think about what is fun for you, would you prefer a spa day & quiet dinner with your girls, or do you want a night of drinks & dancing? I think what your FI did for his bachelor party is irrelevant, you should choose a b-party activity that YOU will enjoy.
Post # 12
Like you lcj3 I am not fond of the bachelor party revolving around strippers (though we all know it happens often!) and I am not fond of male strippers. My cousin had one and it was traumatizing!!
I think the whole idea of bachelorette/bachelor parties is supposed to be a "bonding" experience between you and your friends. Unfortunately, guys think it is funny/bonding to go a strip club. Go figure!
I view bonding as drinking lots of wine with my girlfriends, going to the beach, and going to some fun bars.
I agree that the old "loose lips sink ships" mentality among guys who go to bachelor parties is silly. Most decent guys end up telling their wives/girlfriends/FIs everything anyways (like your FI).
Maybe if you try to think of it as a bonding thing for you and for your FI, it might be less frustrating? In any case, have a blast at your own bachelorette!
Post # 13
Hmm. I wonder if the equivalent would be to go to a bunch of bars and get trashed- followed by some clubs to be picked up by random males. I think that would get any significant other upset. I know my man wouldn’t be upset if us girls went to a strip club because he knows that most guy strippers (are gay- but also it doesn’t do anything for me)… but he would be so terribly- beyond reason- without a doubt ticked if I went to a bunch of bars and got sloshed. (I don’t do that now- but he doesn’t like the idea of me being vulnerable and someone taking advantage of that).
But what is the point of asking ‘what is equivalent’? I am uneasy with the idea of doing something ‘back at him’ just because(?). It seems a little disrespectful and juvenile all in all.
Post # 14
I would just like to point out that not all guys are into strippers. I didn’t have any strippers at my bachelor party, and I wouldn’t go to a strip club even if my best friend’s bachelor party was being held there.
Most of my friends aren’t into strip clubs either. There may be a double standard in society overall, but I think more people these days are sidestepping it.
Post # 15
I agree Mr. Bee, my man isn’t into strip clubs either… But this strip club topic comes up a lot for people planning bachelor/bachelorette party’s… Regardless if people go regularly or not.
My FH and I aren’t doing any planning which includes strippers- but a lot of our friends have ‘offered’ it up as an activity to take part in. <rolling my eyes>. It’s pretty silly to even consider for us- but people still bring it up part of the bachelor/bachelorette party celebrations… So weird. Because normally- when our friends get together it isn’t part of the norm of conversation. Usually it’s like "anyone want to go to Dave and Busters? Anyone want to go bowling or miniature golfing? How bout a cooking/wine tasting class?" What happened to unique activities like that?!