Post # 1
My fiance chose his dad as his best man for our wedding; however, his dad is pretty clueless when it comes to best man duties. My fiance would like to go paint balling for his bachelor party then have some friends over to our house to just hang out. How can he communicate this message to his dad. Should he just tell his dad what he wants to do since his dad isn’t asking. Also, I don’t know if his dad will offer to pay for anything, would that mean my fiance should pay for food, beer, etc. if his dad and/or groomsmen don’t offer to chip in? It’s not really in our wedding budget to host a party but I would feel terrible if my fiance didn’t get to have fun with his friends.
Post # 3
My husband’s best man was totally clueless too. I ended up being the one organizing a surprise bach for my own husband!!! Otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten one. The plan was to go golfing during the day and then head out to a new brewhouse. Well the weather was crappy, so they ended up just going out to drink all night. Everyone pitched in for DH’s meals and drinks and then paid for their own.
Post # 4
Are you close with his dad? Could you talk to him? My parents didn’t have bachelor/bachelorette parties at all….I think it’s somehting that’s really become more prevalent over time, so his dad might not have even thought of it…
Post # 5
I definitely don’t think that your fiance should have to pay for a party that is supposed to be in honor of him. My husband went paintballing for his bachelor party as well, then went to Outback for dinner. The best man paid for my fiance – the others had to pay for themselves.
However, I did not get a bachelorette party, even though I had hinted around because my maids of honor thought I should have planned it or something … I don’t know. So I would definitely be straight-forward with his dad because hints don’t always work (even though my hint was: Yes I’d like a little party. Mom said she’d help you plan it. Get in contact with her – I thought that was pretty straight-forward, lol). Maybe mention around him what other best men have done for bachelor parties and then mention how fiance wants to paintball and then ask the dad if he thinks he can manage planning it.
I know that us girls should probably stay out of the planning stages of it, but I didn’t because I wanted to make sure that my husband did get one and his boys weren’t communicating that great, so I talked to the best man and basically asked him how the bachelor party planning was coming along – and I think he was glad I did because he kept saying that he didn’t know what he was doing and didn’t know how to plan things. So if you need to, help make sure it happens by talking to the best man yourself. =)