- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2011
I know that this topic has been discussed over and over again but here we go again! Please respond with ANY advice! I will do anythign to fix this issue.
So I have been married for over 2 years now but this isue was from my husband (then fiance)’s bachelor party. I told him over and over again the importance of not having stippers at his bachelor party. I explained to him in GRAVE detail that he is no longer a “bachelor” since he has already agreed to marry me. I told him that I viewed this as cheating and if he would prefer naked women on him then I will NOT be there for the wedding. I also discussed the same topic with his best man (his brother) and best friend. I was assureed by ALL parties that they were NOT going to be stipers or a strip club at his bachelor party. My husband even promised that he would not enter if his friends took him there. I TRUSTED my (then) fience with all my heart and said goodbye to him without any worry in my heart! He met up with his friends in a large limo SUV and friends came from out of state to be there with him.
Throughout the entire night of him caravaning around town, I did not text him or even worry- NOT EVEN A LITTLE! He was going to be my husband and I trusted him 100%. The next day (close to dinner time) he gives me a call and explains to me that he is with his brother (best man) and his brothers friend now and explains his whole night. Leaving the last point of cource to be that he went to a strip club! I felt so depressed, so cheap, and so unappreciated that he lied to my face and had no respect for my thoughts at all. It became apparent to me that he would choose his friends and his dick over me. After a LONG argument of him trying to justify his reasoning and telling me that it was a “bachelor party” and what did I expect, I didn’t have the balls to call off the wedding that close to the date I was also too embarrised to tell my parents that I wanted to call off the weddign after all the money they put into it. and the fact that I wanted to call it off because my “soon to be” husband was a cheater.
A little after this insident, his brother told his father and his father verbally attaked me calling me immature and native. He called it right there that I wouldn’t have the balls to even do anything about it. He attacked me right there in front of my husband (fiance at the time) and he did NOTHING about it. Just recently he appoligized aboutt hat and said that he thought this would just blow over and he didn’t say anything because he agreed with his dad.
We have been married for a little over 2 years now and I am currently pregant with his baby. I have always remained faithful to him and (as far as I know) he to me but I still have that thought in the back of my mind that he cheated on me and didn’t care about my feelings. I also have grown very insecure about myself and keep replaying the images of women all over him in my mind. Until recently, he has always justified his actions as me over reacting.
I have not mentioned my issues with this since right after the incident (when he told me I was overreacting) and all the pain is just boiling inside of me. I told him this weekend that it was stil an issue for me and I think he is starting to really see where I am coming from but I CAN NOT trust him anymore. I feel like such a push over for not canceling the wedding. I feel like he was not ready for the committment.
My husband is a pilot and they always have such scandally dressed women at the independant airports (that he chooses) and he always goes out to winghouse and hooters all the time when he is with his friends. These are all things that NEVER bothered me before his bachelor party. I often cry myself to sleep when he is not home and I cant trust him alone with his friends or brother anymore. His job has him gone for long periods at a time where he is alone with his male friends.
It has come to the point where I cant really eat when he is away which is very dangerous because I am pregnant. I get so depressed and I feel like me gaining weight for this pregnany is only sending him closer and closer to cheating on me again.
I want to trust my husband again, we used to have such a great relationship before his bachelor party. I really thought I had the exception. I really thought my man was speacial and loved and respected me. Now, he is just like any other shallow man out there. I can’t forgive him and I CANT TRUST him! Please HELP! I dont want to bring a baby into a failed marriage and I REALLY want this marriage to work.