- 2 years ago
I’ve been reading for a long time, but just got engaged last month so haven’t signed up until now. Unfortunately I already have a dilemma which I need advice about. We haven’t done much planning yet, but my FI’s best friend (the BM) is already itching to start planning the bachelor party. We haven’t even set a date yet. Side note: I really hate this guy. He’s never been a friend to the relationship and is a womanizing jerk who doesn’t believe in marriage. Lovely, right?
Anyway, I know the BM will want to have strippers and would resort to kidnapping my FI and taking him to a club even if my FI didn’t want to go. I’ve been to strip clubs with my FI before and he’s gone once without me. I was very upset and we agreed to never go to strip clubs without each other. I know that rule will be broken for his bachelor party and I guess I just have to deal with that, but I have some things I’m not comfortable with. What I would like is this:
1) no private stripper parties. those shows get way to personal and raunchy
2) no touching the strippers: no kissing, no grabbing, no letting them touch him, grind on his lap, etc.
3) this isn’t a requirement, but it would be nice if my best friend from college (a gay man) could come with them. He does not want to come to my all-girls bachelorette party, though he is a member of my bridal party (albeit a non-traditional member).
that’s basically it. I’ve had lap dances before. they’re undeniably sexual, and i would feel hugely disrespected if he was off engaging in sexual things before our wedding and in my city, touching is very much allowed. <br /> <br /> FYI my bachelorette will be a spa day, dinner at the steakhouse at the hotel, and an overnight sleepover in a guest suite. very tame.
On a normal night, I wouldn’t even have to mention this, but since it’s his bachelor party, I can’t help but be concerned about the influence of his jerk BM and all the traditional “last night of freedom” BS. <br /> I trust him, but his best friend is a master manipulator is very very bad at taking no for an answer. Should i talk to the best man about it? we’ve known each other a long time (he’s stayed with us quite a bit on our couch etc.) Or would that make me look like a controlling shrew?<br /> <br /> Also, i would have NO problem if my fiancé made requests of me for my bachelorette and set rules as well.
I’m planning on talking to him about it tonight, but I’m nervous.
- This topic was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by christinalong338.