Bachelor Party Drama, NEED HELP

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Should you change your mind to please other people?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    15 %
    No : (23 votes)
    49 %
    Maybe : (12 votes)
    26 %
    Other...(comment below!) : (5 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    691 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I am sorry, but this sounds like too much drama. Maybe release him from the bars and no drinking rule and keep the no strippers rule. It shows a compromise. Has your FI went to a bar and done something stupid while drunk?

    If not, don’t worry.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    if you trust your future husband, why make the promise and just let him do what he wants.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @BumbyBee:  Well what does your FI want to do?  If you hadn’t made that promise, would he want to go?  Would there be drinking and bar hopping and stippers?  I mean, just because they go to a different city doesn’t mean it won’t be “clean.” 

    However, I do think your rules are MUCH to strict.  I get the no strippers thing, but no drinking or going to the bars seems overly restrictive.  Is your FI not much of a drinker?  May I ask what were the reasons for no drinking?  This will affect my opinion on whether or not I think you should hold firm or consider revising your rules.

    Post # 6
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t know, I’m kind of weird about that sort of thing too. I know he wouldn’t like it if I went out to see strippers and went out partying and drinking at a bunch of clubs acting like a crazy person so why should he? If this is something y’all agreed to and he shows no interest in doing them then he shouldn’t give in to his family and neither should you.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1067 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @BumbyBee:  What doee he want to do?  Did he make the mutual promise because you asked him to make it?  If the party his family has planned doesn’t make him uncomfortable, I wouldn’t stop him from going.  If it bothers him for whatever reason, that’s a different story, but he should be able to communicate that to his family.

    If he is telling them no solely because he told you he wouldn’t do something like that, you don’t come out looking very good to the people trying to plan his celebration.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think your rules are too much, but if your FI wants to stick by them then that is his choice. I would keep the stripper rule, but everything else needs to be changed. Everyone else will want to go to the bar and what are they supposed to do? Leave your FI behind?

    Post # 9
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    stick to what you, and your FI feel comfortable with as a couple, as it is you who will have to live with the fallout if something were to happen that neither of you would deem appropriate. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    8593 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Why can’t he have a drink?  Is he an alcoholic or does he make the wrong choices when he’s been drinking?

    That seems like a strange rule to me unless there have been significant problems in the past.

    I can understand the no strippers thing.

    I would just trust him him to do the right thing….?  If he doesn’t want to drink he should stand up for himself.  I don’t think it’s up to you to make (or break) the “rules.”

    I drank plenty on mine and didn’t do anything that I wouldn’t have been okay with FI seeing.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    ummm strippers I can understand, but no bars or dinking.  What are they supposed to do, go to the movies.  Sorry but that’s the point of B-parties.  If it is not allowed then he may just not have one.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I agree with PPs–I would get rid of the booze restriction (and the bar one–like sports bars are okay, but hook up dance clubs are NOT)

    Post # 13
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would just keep the no strippers rule.

    Post # 15
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I agree as well — drinking and bars, but NO strippers. That’s what bachelor party’s are all about … going out and cutting loose with the guys

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