Bachelor Party Mayhem…the cliche story. STRIPPER TRIP!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It sounds like his friends pushed him into it instead of him wanting to go. I’m guessing they probably paid for his lap dances too. It sounds like he couldn’t have known your full views on the subject beforehand, and if he did he would have likely behaved differently. I think you need to get past it and move on. For the marriage to work you need to be able to trust him.

Post # 4
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

I think you guys didn’t communicate clearly enough about your expectations aruond strip clubs. You encouraged him to go in the past, and didn’t seem to put any restrictions on it (unless you did but didn’t mention them here) so how was he supposed to know he couldn’t go on your birthday or couldn’t get copious lap dances? I  don’t think you have a right to be mad at him, especially since he just went along and had fun, it’s not like it’s a habit or trip that’s truly jeopardizing your relationship, and it seems like he wants to make you happy and felt bad about how you felt afterwards. Learn from your mistake about not communicating with each other about all the details and enjoy your relationship! 

Post # 5
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Honestly this is a prime case of miscommunication or not communicating clearly. I don’t really think you can punish him because you said you were ok with strippers. It is unfair to continue to do so.

What you need to do is talk about the future and be honest. It sounds like he isn’t really into strip clubs and got caught up but together you guys need to work out the boundaires for the future.

If you do not think you can get over this or that you will continue to hold it against him, blame him, use it to hurt him then YOU need to balls up and leave the relationship.

Post # 6
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Mumbles88:  You poor thing, I get the body insecurity from strip clubs and I see why you are upset. (FI and I went to a strip club once and the only thing I was upset about was that the girls were skinnier than me)

Unfortunately the only thing you can do now is move on from it. He doesn’t sound like he’s ever going to do anything of the sort again, and that he wouldn’t have gone if he thought it would upset you. 

Post # 7
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

[comment moderated for personal attack / snark]

Post # 9
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think the likely answer to why he did it is that his friends pushed him into it. It doesnt sound like he went by his own choice, in fact it sounds like they had to trick him into into. You shouldn’t compare yourself to other girls, you’re the one he loved enough to marry (and I saw your pictures on your other thread – you’re beautiful!). You need to stop letting this get to you. 

Post # 10
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@moriah:  Calling the OP a ” depressed psycho” and “insane” just because she has feelings that you might not feel, is ridiculously stupid on your behalf. Just because you think she is taking this much harder than you would doesn’t give you the right to call her names or personally attack her. You need to grow up and get off the chat boards if all you can do is insult people who don’t view things 100% your way. I’ve reported & flagged your post and I encourage everyone to do so as well. Take a chill pill or better yet, grow up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Mumbles88:  OP don’t even waste your time with those who aren’t smart enough to give an educated response. Don’t let people who are clearly not living in reality, put you down. Flag and report her post and take that kind of “advice” with a grain of salt.

You are NOT a bad person, a psycho, or insane.

Post # 13
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@moriah:  As someone who has suffered from depression, and is certainly not psycho, I just want to say – not cool!

Post # 14
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am sure you are more than enough for him 🙂 He loves you very much and if you do take good care of your body I’m sure he finds you really sexy! 

 

Strippers do their thing for money, its in their best interests to have big boobs, small waists ‘perfect bodies’ if that’s your thing… but how many other laps did they dance on in that night? It’s kinda like sloppy seconds except maybe even sloppy 42nds

Post # 15
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Plus I heard that many strippers are on drugs and/or don’t have the best lives. 

Post # 16
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@amyinbrisbane:  Can we not stripper bash please. These girls are people too and there is a lot of rumour around the industry. You know like how all models have an eating disorder or all football players are sleaze bags or all brides turn into bridezillas!

@moriah:  I agree that the OP’s reaction was on the extreme end but there is no need to call her insane or a depressed psycho. If she is actually depressed (not saying she is) your words could do more harm than good.

 

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