Post # 1
I am so jealous of my FI in a bad way… I’m not worried about what he’s doing for 4 days in Vegas, I just feel like nothing about the wedding planning process has been even slightly enjoyable for me and it seems unfair. He gets to tell me what to do but doesn’t help with or worry about the stressful parts of wedding planning and now he deserves a nicer vacation than I’ve ever been on. I don’t know how to get over this and act happy when he comes home. I’m not having a bachelorette party (friends are too busy , can’t afford it, etc.). My matron of honor had to drop out due to a family crisis (which is a decision I 100% support) which makes me so sad. I would love nothing more than a vacation with close friends (or a vacation with my fiancé) or even just a fun night out. Plus four days in vegas at an ultra super nice luxury hotel seems a little excessive…
Maybe I can go on a vacation with friends after I’m married – the wedding has made me nothing but miserable but it will be over soon which should cheer me up. It’s not so bad. But I can’t remember ever feeling this level of jealousy over anything.
Has anyone else dealt with this kind of bachelor party envy? If so how did you get past it?
Post # 3
@mrsgroomzilla: I haven’t been in your exact situation, but FI’s brother is going to be his best man. One day at a family party, FI’s brother told me and FI that he thought a Vegas trip would be so much fun for the bachelor party. And it would, I’m sure.
But of course I got upset and I was pretty honest with FI – I told him I didn’t think it was fair that he got to have this out of town party when I felt like I was doing all the work for the wedding and wouldn’t get something as fun. I also told him it bothered me that he’d be spending our money on Vegas when I’ve given up two long weekends so we can save for the wedding. And when FI said, “well that’s okay I have this 2nd savings account,” I kind of freaked out because all of my savings are in our joint fund. And then I told him I realized I was being super bratty and selfish and that maybe we could compromise and his brother could plan something more affordable and/or shorter? We also agreed that I was mostly upset because I felt like I was carrying the burden of the planning, so I started giving FI things to do.
So – I get where you’re coming from. 100%! My advice to you is to understand that your feelings are normal (or at least there are two of us!) and then to look forward. Your FI is having this fun weekend to celebrate the fact that he is marrying you and spending the right of his life with you! And since he’ll be coming back from his fun weekend all refreshed and having no worries, maybe you can ask him to do some of the wedding stuff with you (or for you) so you can relax a little more? And then definitely plan a girls’ weekend after the wedding so you can relax with the girls and have some fun and relive all the GOOD moments of your day, not think about the stress leading up to it.
Sorry this is so long and that I can’t be more help! Good luck!!
Post # 4
@EllEmm005: I love you <3 thank you so much for understanding and for making me feel not so silly!
Post # 5
I would be pissed if I was doing everything and didn’t get a party while FI went on a four day vacation to vegas. That is not right at all. Did you talk to your fiance about this? You would think he would be a bit understanding about your feelings. You said you would love to go on vacation. Are you not having a honeymoon? How is it that fiance is able to do this and you aren’t? Have you spoken to him about how you have the burden of wedding planning and is there anyone else who can help you with this?
Post # 5
I am in a similar situation. I thought it would be bitchy to tell him i was jealous. I requested a jack and jill bachelor/bachelorette party because 2 out of 4 of my bridesmaids are under age, and the other 2 of my bridesmaids have no money. Come to find out, the groomsmen and groom are all meeting in Chicago over his birthday under the disguise of celebrating his birthday. I’m upset because it seems like i go out of my way to make everyone happy all the time (especially with this wedding) and in return i get squat. I don’t have anyone in my family that would plan something like that out for me, and it’s so depressing. It also sucks because i have half the amount of vacation he has, so if i were to go somewhere, it would only be over the weekend, otherwise i would have to work the extra hours to get the time off (since i’m already taking all my vacation for the wedding and honeymoon). It’s really selfish of me to not want him to get a snazzy party with the boys just because i don’t get the same, i can just imagine that conversation going down with his brothers, yeah right…