Bachelor Party Stress

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
44816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MBradley:  I think this is your FI’s issue to discuss with the best man. He doesn’t need to know all the details to deal with the issue of inviting the older relatives, if he wants them there.

Post # 3
2978 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MBradley:  My only advice is to stay out of it. If your Finace wants his dad..ect invited he needs to put his foot down

If you want to know where your fiance will be all weekend ( which is NOT too much of a request), it is his responsibility to call you and let you know where he is.

Don’t place the blame on the bestman or groomsmen if your fiance can’t follow through with your requests and your issue should be with him. 

Post # 4
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think the best man is being super ridiculous! I don’t think it’s asking too much to know where he will be. And he should have absolutely invited the people uour FI wanted him to invite. It’s your FI’s party.. Not the best mans!

Post # 5
602 posts
Busy bee

MBradley:  its unfortunate he went against your fiance’s wishes but that’s not really your business it’s his. if you trust your future husband then drop it and if he has an issue with the guest list that is for him to discuss with the best man. 

Post # 6
1745 posts
Bumble bee

So has the date been set for awhile then?  Does your fiance already know the date of it?  I don’t think I could resist telling fiance that these people are calling you for information and he needs to work it out.  I guess either that or give the univited people BM’s phone number since he’s the one throwing the party.


  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Scarlett11.
Post # 7
7748 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MBradley:  The best man is going against your fiance’s wishes, so definitely tell your fiance about the conversation. Then let him handle it. Don’t worry about spoiling the surprise – I’m sure your fiance would want to know if guests he wanted are being excluded.

Then also have a (two way) conversation and about what is and isn’t acceptable bachelor party activity. For instance, while I know many women are ok with strippers, I am not. Fortunately my husband agrees, and has walked out of at least one bachelor party when he didn’t like the way it was going. It sounds to me like your best man is planning something quite “wild” and your fiance needs to be prepared.

Post # 8
2300 posts
Buzzing bee

MBradley:  I would give FI a heads up that his dad and your dad have been asking about it.

He can go talk to BM and figure this all out. In any case, they should at least have a celebration night to include them – even if its on a different weekend. I know normally dads arent invited, but if they are close and everyone was expecting them to attend – it is something that needs to be addressed. 

Post # 9
4506 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Stay out of it and refer any questions you get directly to the best man. I agree it sounds like he hasn’t followed your fiance’s wishes exactly, but it’s not your problem to deal with, luckily. It’s the best man’s responsibility–let him deal with it. 

Post # 10
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with PPS. STAY OUT OF IT!!! It’s not your business. If the best man went against your fiance’s prefernces, that’s between the two of them. Let him deal with it.

Post # 12
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

MBradley:  I would tell your FI and get him to make sure those people are invited. How rude of the best man.

For my FI’s bachelor party the best man called me, asked what weekends were ok, then planned it out and called me again to let me know exactly what they’re doing. I don’t think it’s necessary, but I really appreciated it. He also needed me on board because the bachelor party as well as the weekend is a surprise for my FI.

Post # 14
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

MBradley:  So much bro time! My FI prefers to hunt alone… what a loner… lol. He goes fishing randomly with friends, but in our group we’re the only ones who aren’t married and don’t have kids yet. That’s probably why it’s so laid back now. He does wing night with his brother… but I’m just jealous I don’t get wings, not that he’s hanging out with out me lol. Next time I’ll get him to order me wings… that would be delicious.

Anywho… I got lost in the wings sorry, ahha. I’m sure your FI will tell you where he’s going, you don’t have to be ‘controlling’ or ‘uptight’ to want to know… everyone would want to know. I would NOT be ok with my FI leaving for 3 days and have no ides where he is, just like I know he would be concerned if I did the same. It’s about respect for the relationship and your partner.

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