Post # 1
First of all, sorry for so many posts…its getting to be crunch time.
FH has two groomsmen, one is in Michigan right now and the other lives here (but is from Columbia.) The best man isnt getting into Dallas until the 14th of May (2 days before). The second groomsmen found out he has to fly home for two weeks in May and wont get back until the day before the wedding (and has already purchased tickets.)
Well, it turns out that they want to have his bachelor party the night before the wedding since that is the only time the two groomsmen will be together. I’ve expressed to him that it is unacceptable to get drunk that night since we have to be up early on our wedding day. He says he understands, but the Columbian is crazy. Like so crazy that he asked me if I was ok with my FH getting a “happy ending.” Wtf?! I just know he will end up drunk if they go out. Any other day and I would be fine, just not the night before our wedding.
I dont want to be the fiance that says he cant go out, but its starting to worry me. I havent brought it up with him again since I wanted to ask the hive first. The night before the wedding, we booked a really expensive hotel and planned to head to bed around 11pm. I dont sleep well without him, especially in a hotel. I would be up waiting for him to get back from his party on top of wedding nerves and then both of us would be tired and cranky! And I would be so upset if he had bags under his eyes in our wedding photos because they got drunk!
Ugh. I want him to have fun, but is it crazy of me to not want him to have his bachelor party the night before?
Post # 3
I would never let my FI have his bachelor party the night before the wedding! It sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen! Good luck, hope you can talk him out of it!
Post # 4
@sheepandbear: Depends on the bachelor party. If the guys were going out for a round of golf during the day, then coming back and having a poker night, I wouldn’t be too concerned. If they’re planning on bar hopping, clubs and general drunken debauchery, I’d be worried.
Post # 5
Not crazy – I would feel exactly the same way. Explain all of this to your husband, and if he still insists on having his bachelor party the night before, ask if he and his groomsmen can just go get a nice dinner together and be back at a decent hour. I understand that the bachelor/bachelorette party is supposed to be about your last hurrah before getting married, but practicality comes first for me 🙂
Post # 6
Absolutely not. You are right in all of your concerns. If that is the only day they can do it then either they have a low key dinner and a few drinks and he is home and in bed by 11 or they don’t do one at all…IMO anyway.
Post # 7
You’re not crazy. It’s a TERRIBLE idea. We did something kinda weird the night before ours – we didn’t have a rehearsal, so I went out to dinner with my family and OOT people, and he went out to dinner with his best man and an OOT friend. I was staying at our apt and he was staying at our reception hotel. It was awesome! He had already had his bachelor party in Vegas a few weeks before.
He’ll be exhausted if he goes out the night before. The Colombian is just gonna have to deal. Put your foot down.
Post # 8
No way. He’s going to be hungover/exhausted. I do agree it depends on the type of party but these guys haven’t seen each other in a while .. it’s going to be kind of wild.
One of my brother’s had his the night before, he almost passed out in the middle of the cathedral. He still had some glitter in his hair…. 🙁
Post # 9
I would totally NOT allow my fiance to have his bachelor party the night before the wedding. Its a given he will get drunk and probably wont get much sleep so he will not be able to enjoy the big day as much. Also the fact that he could oversleep, be hungover, etc. To compromise, I would say have two seperate shindigs. A night out with the one that lives in your state and maybe just a relaxed dinner/baseball game, etc. with the out of state one the night before.
Post # 10
Common sense, it’s a stupid idea. Who wants to be hungover and exhausted on their wedding day? I wouldn’t tell him he “Can’t” so you don’t sound controlling, but remind him how early he has to be up, show him the timeline for the day, and help him change his mind and realize what all has to be done and what the day will consist of.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t be ok with this either! The night before your wedding, he will be exhausted if not hungover the next day! And I would be certain to make sure he draws the line with the groomsman who wants him to get a happy ending – cheat on you!
Post # 12
I agree with the other bees…it’s not a good idea! My friend had his bachelor party the night before his wedding and he was so hungover during the ceremony it was awful. Also, the groomsmen were struggling too. One actually threw up at the reception because he was so hungover (yuck!) His wife was such a good sport, but I felt so bad for her!
Post # 13
Catastrophe waiting to happen if drinking is involved…
Post # 14
This seems like a really bad idea.
Post # 15
@geekspice: Thats exactly what I think too. He said that they would just be at the bar from 8-10pm. Yeah right, I know how many drinks can happen in 2 hours!! At least I know I’m not a crazy FW for wanting a low key wedding eve.
Post # 16
@sheepandbear: Why is the decision up to you? I don’t mean that in a snarky way – just saying your fiance’ is a big boy. He should be able to appreciate the fact that this just isn’t a good idea. If he can’t, then you can certainly verbalize your very valid concers and let him make the decision.
That said, I personally would build a pretty strong case against a bachelor party the night before the wedding – that’s just asking for stress and problems you don’t need. He doesn’t need to be hungover or exhausted on your wedding day and you don’t need to be stressed and resentful that he’s not 100% on your wedding day.
Its just a bad idea.