Post # 1
Fiancee has decided to go the Cabo San Lucas for another friend’s bachelor party for a weekend ($700). His friend’s fiancee has invited me to her bachelorette party as well in Cancun that same weekend ($800). I have decided to forgo the bachelorette party for several reasons 1) grad school, 2) work (full time engineer), 3) we are saving and paying for our own wedding. Anyhow, I’ve tried explaining to Fiancee that it’s more important to save for our own wedding rather than spending that much for an international bachelor party. The other couple getting married doesn’t have any money problems as their parents are footing the entire bill thus they are having their b/b parties in expensive places. I’ve also tried to explain that maybe it would also be better if he took that money ($700) and spent it on his own bachelor party, which he want’s to do in Colorado. Why spend that amt. of $$ on someone else party, when you can spend it on your own. I may be a party pooper, but hey we need the money, and just seems better to save for our own expenses rather than spend $$ on someone’s party. Thanks for listening.
Post # 3
No I totally hear ya… I turned down a trip to mamoth for hte same reasons. However, if this is your Fiancees good friend and he wants to go, you should talk him about it and see where you guys can get the money for it (find cheaperflights, share hotel room etc). It sounds like you don’t know the bride-to-be well so it makes sense that you don’t attend her party. It might be good to have a little break from eachother anyway, just try not to resent him for going. ( Its hard not say "while you were out partying, I was blah blah blah")
Post # 4
I totally agree with you! The sound of the trip is wonderful but in the end the money should be spent on your FH’s day not somoene else’s.
I think you’re being very responsable and resaonable and not a party pooper at all!
Post # 5
What is the deal with super-expensive bachelor parties anyway? My FIs friends (who are all reasonably well off) have a golf weekend at the Coeur d’Alene resort planned. We certainly hope they are planning on paying his expenses, because we totally don’t have the money for that. He has tried to suggest a couple of times a less expensive place, but they are not getting the hint. I think we need to find a way to just tell them we can’t afford it – at which point, if they are planning on footing the bill they can step up and say so. But it’s a $1000 weekend (and he can drive there!!!) and we just don’t have the extra money. Its not even a wedding thing – as my parents are being very generous – its about his son starting college at Gonzaga this fall, and having jaw surgery right before the wedding. So finding the money somewhere else is really not an option.
Post # 6
Thanks everyone. Today fiancee told me that he is definitely going and and it doens’t matter what I say. I’m thinking I should just calm down and drop it before I say anything I regret. I’m somewhat of a hot head. As for the other bride to be, we used to be roomates post college, but it wasn’t like we were great friends. I consider her a friend, but we just don’t have many things in common. The only thing in common that we do have is just we are both electrical engineers. She really wants me to go, but I’ve already told her I can’t b/c of financial responsibilites. I have yet to respond to her 2nd/3rd email asking me. I know something like this is going to come up, "how come b**** is going and you are not?" Oh well, since there is nothing I can do. I’ll just have to sit and fester for bit. Thanks again for listening gals. Oh and yeah, what is it with the uber expensive parties anyhow. I would of understood vegas, but Cabos San Lucas and Cancun…..during spring break…ugh.
Post # 7
even vegas is expensive these days. my fi’s groomsmen were planning a bach party there but have now dropped those plans due to high costs (we’re on the east coast tho). when i used to think bachelor / bachelorette parties, i thought stretch hummer, bar hopping, and strip club. it’s funny bc our neighborhood is THE place to go for bachelor/ette parties- i see them every weekend (so maybe $100 a person if you get real drunk). not 2-3 days off work, sitting in an airport & dropping a grand…
Post # 8
FI and I have been talking about it just today… he is going to email the guys who are doing the planning, as he agrees that one of them tends to get really out of control spending money (we know that he has HUGE credit card debt, and then complains all the time about his child support). Also cost will be an issue for some of the guys who have been his friends the longest, as they also have kids in college – he knows they can’t afford their own $1000 weekend, let alone pay for part of his.
The whole financial thing is interesting, isn’t it? We make about the same amount of money, and together will be pretty well fixed, but with his kids in college the next four years will be sort of a juggling act. Luckily he is really good about talking about money and priorities – after all, in another five months it will be OUR money, not just HIS money and MY money.
Post # 9
I also don’t understand this trend of super expensive bachelor(ette) parties. When my cousin got married last summer we took her to dinner and bar hopping, had a great time and spent less than $150 each. IMO, the costs associated with weddings are insane, especially since not everyone is in the same financial situation (yet they’re all expected to pay hundreds of dollars)!