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For my own wedding, the MOH called me to clear some dates with me (my job demands some weekends) about 4 months before the wedding. I told her the dates I was free and which one would work best, and she took care of the rest. My bach. party ended up to be a month before the wedding, which was perfect.
I would say that if your wedding isn't until November, your bridal party has more than enough time to plan something - I wouldn't be worried about it just yet. Unless you're trying to plan a weekend trip, in which case you may want to get the date/cost on people's radars. But if it's just a night out (or day out), there's still a good 7 months until the wedding!
She is planning a weekend in Atlantic City while I'm planning a trip to Puerto Rico so that's why I feel there is a need to separate the dates. And she still has to plan her bridal shower so for some girls it is three weekend events (including the wedding) that they would need to book.
If I could offere one piece of advice, it would be to make sure that all of her folks are communicating really well with each other. I don't have a MOH, so one of the girls took it upon herself to plan the bachelorette. My sisters would have liked to have been more involved in the planning, but they weren't able to express that to my friend... so if I had it to do over again, I would have been more involved. (Which is hard to do when your party is a surprise!)
I have always wanted to go to Vegas for my bachelorette party and about a month after I got engaged (back in April 08) my MOH sent out an email letting the girls know that I've always wanted to go to Vegas and we're planning it for Sept 09 - and got good dates from everyone. People know they don't have to go, especially because of the cost - but the early heads up let them know over a year in advance so they could start saving. I've been saving since May 08 for it, so I'm more than ready! :) But I know not everyone can afford it, especially in this economy - so I'm thrilled and very touched that many of the girls are still planning on going. Only one BM has backed out, but that is because she'll be in Fiji for work - darn! :)
I say the further out the date gets set, the better. I am a planner and always put things in my calendar, even if it is in pencil. That way people can look for good flight deals, work schedules can be re-arranged, etc.
I am having my shower and bachelorette party the same weekend, so that my bridesmaids only have to fly in once. That might be something to consider if you have a lot of friends that will have to travel for the shower/bach party/wedding. Two trips might be easier on them than three.
However, if you are planning on going away, you should at least set up the date so that friends can take time off from work, or put it on their calendars. And then you can plan out the details later.
But if your FI isn't really interested in nailing down the dates, then don't worry about it too much. She will figure it out on her own. Go ahead and set the date for your own bachelor party, and maybe she'll do hers the same weekend...
You should pick a date for your bachelorette party just as soon as you can as usually people's calendars get full quickly. I think that it is best to have the bachelorette party 6-8 weeks before the weekend, that way you can still look well rested for your big day! You can send out informal save the date emails, that way people know to look out for an invite and try to plan around it. If you need anymore tips, please ask!
Amanda
PinkVeil
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We are getting married in November and my fiance has a lot of girlfriends. I told her that she or her MOH should start talking to her girls to at least separate the date of the bachelorette party as it is difficult to coordinate an event like that.
When do you start planning those kind of parties? Or do you leave that to the Best Man or MOH?