- 4 years ago
I’m Matron of Honor for my little sister’s wedding next March. She’s been engaged less than a month and I’m already having a lot of stress that I’m hoping you guys can help me with.
I am super excited to plan the bachelorette party for my sister. Within a week of getting engaged she was asking me about it. I told her I had some ideas, like maybe a short Keys getaway. A day or so later she texts me that she and her friends (other b’maids) want to do a 4-day cruise. I know the bachelorette is all about the bride, but I have a son who will still be small (< 2) at the time of this trip and I told her I didn’t know if I’d feel comfortable leaving him for that long. Also, I know three of the 8 b’maids have limited money and they would likely not be able to go. My sister seemed really bummed and later sent me text that said if she couldn’t go on a cruise she at least had a few “requests” she wanted for the party. These things were along the lines of “fancy dinner, b’maids in black dresses while she had a colored one, champagne toast, cake, comfy bed to sleep in”, etc. They were very specific! Lol, am I supposed to go test out a mattress before booking a hotel?
Anyways, I was kind of put off by her “requests” because I’m excited by all the surprises I would like to plan, and now I feel like if I want to do something nice it will just be expected because she said she wanted it. Oh well, I let that go and started looking into planning a Keys trip. Well, it turns out that the time of year we would be going (she wants the trip about a month or less from the wedding) is THE most expensive time to visit the Keys and there are minimum stay requirements for most places and the prices are insane. Let’s just say the cruise would probably be cheaper, but that’s not saying much.
I started thinking, and I realized that the b’maids who are shortest on funds are nearest to Tampa, so I thought let’s plan a trip there! The prices will be better, we can get an awesome house and go out to Ybor City or something, it’ll be great and the local ladies who might not be able to afford the whole weekend can at least come for dinner and be a part of the festivities. I really thought this was a fantastic idea and that my sister would be so happy ALL of her b’maids would be able to participate. When I mentioned it to her she was not thrilled at all, and pretty much said a fun trip was more important to her than having all her b’maids present, but that if I wanted to plan Tampa that’s fine.
Last night she sent me a mile-long text message saying her other b’maids were not hot on Tampa and would rather do the Keys or a cruise. I think this is her way of saying SHE doesn’t want that, and using the b’maids as an excuse so she doesn’t have to come right out and say to me she doesn’t like my idea so she doesn’t hurt my feelings.
I’m kind of stuck now because if she really only wants the Keys or a cruise, neither of those trips will likely be in the $300 or less pp budget I was aiming for, and 3 of the 8 b’maids won’t be able to go (maybe more, but those I know for sure).
Do you think I should just try to plan a Keys trip (probably won’t be a super nice hotel, or anywhere near Duval St where the bars are), let her do a cruise with some of her b’maids and then plan a smaller party in Tampa so all can participate, or try to convince her the Tampa trip will be awesome and that she just has to trust me? I want it to be a fun trip, but I am worried that if it’s this stressful already I am going to be crazy by the time this party happens! Are there other options I haven’t thought of?