(Closed) Bachelorette advice needed!

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The bride doesn’t get to plan the bachelorette. She can have her requests, but the bridesmaids plan it and they get to plan something within their budget.

Post # 5
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d plan the party in Tampa so that everyone can attend and afford it, and she can plan her cruise with the other BMs separately if she wishes.

Post # 6
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@MOH_florida:  WHAT A MESS!  I think you need to have a talk with the other BMs yourself instead of getting all your info from your sister and see what they are thinking about the bachelorette party.  And then plan it with their help so your sister is not just beating up on you for what she wants (for an event she should have no part in planning)

Post # 7
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

I never understood why brides want such lavish bachelorette parties when they know that the b’maids and MOH are footing the bills. Doesn’t she have an inkling of the financial costs of something like this?  I mean, I’d LOVE a 4 day cruise, but I know none of my b’maids can really afford it, so I’m likely just having a dinner and that’s it.  

Stop sharing things with her and just plan something.  She’s not supposed to be involved at all anyways.   You should be communicating with the other BMs.

Post # 9
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MOH_florida:  I agree with a PP, involve the other bridesmaids. My bridesmaids asked me for some general opinions on several different options but they planned a bachelorette they could afford. Half my girls live in CA, and the other half here in DC. So, some of them couldn’t make it. That’s fine. The ones that were here threw the party they could afford (it was this Saturday and it was awesome!). If they other girls wanted to do one when I get there in a couple weeks, they could do that, but I think one bach is quite enough for me!

I had very little involvement in the planning of my bach.

Post # 10
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

The bachelorette party is a gift. You should of course plan something that the bride to be will like (and it sounds very much like you are going to), so take her requests, and plan with the other bridesmaids. Maybe tell her that it will be a surprise, and that you hear her, and that you will do your best to make it something special for her (which it already sounds like you are doing). 

 

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hm. Have you thought about a compromise?  What about maybe looking on homeaway.com or airbnb.com to see if you can score a bad ass house rental?  If $300/p is the budget you can prob find a 5-6 bedroom house somewhere fun for a weekend. Save costs by doing mimosa brunches and grilling out by the pool with cocktails but you can also go clubbing at night and to the beach during the day and whatever else?

That’s what my BMs are going to do for mine and our budget is not too much more than yours bc we want everyone to be there. Both of my sisters are younger/still in school and another BM is in grad school so def recognize we’re all on different budgets. I’m not getting married til next spring so the group is talking about doing a winter cabin rental. Like find an inexpensive off-weekend (aka not Presidents Day or MLK weekend or whenever else people have winter holidays) and rent a house that we can all stay in.  People who want to ski can ski, people who want to go to hot springs can drive out there, people who want to do non-mountain related things like mani/pedis or shopping can do that too, whatever!

Also I went down to Tampa last summer for a 30th bday party for one of my BMs and it was really fun!  I’ve never been there before but she is from there & her mom let us take over their home. There was a private beach in the subdivision, we hung out at the pool in the backyard a lot, we drove to the everglades one day to go airboating & see alligators and we also went out downtown for drinks and live music – it was a really awesome getaway from Chicago.

Post # 12
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It just seems weird that your sister is all ready talking about her bachelorette party after a week of getting engaged.. Her wedding is next march right?? IMO I think your sister is getting caught up in having it all lavish ( like the other bee said) and going all out And that’s ok, but only if you  and everyone else can afford it.. I think you are being a great Moh for wanting to plan something nice and considering her wants.. I would talk with the other bridesmaids first and see where they are or what they think in all this first. in this decision looks like there will have to be compromise.. Hope it all works out 🙂

Post # 13
Member
4529 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MOH_florida:  I like the Keys idea, but since some of the gals are low on funds and near Tampa, could y’all do Siesta Key instead? Maybe take a group out to do Daiquiri Deck and the Village? Maybe even St. Armands? I just know they’re a bit more budget friendly 🙂

I understand you want to please your sister, and of course you should try…but the party is meant to be a “gift” and, like a shower, the bride isnt supposed to plan it herself if she isnt the one hosting. Her trying to micromanage it isnt uncommon, though: it seems to be a pretty common trend.

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