Post # 1
My younger sister is supposed to be in charge of the bachelorette because she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and she REALLY wanted to do it. I’m *really* trying not to micromanage her and let her take the reins. I told her which bms would be helpful with planning it since she’s never done it before and told her to get to work.
So last week I get calls/texts/emails from several of my bms asking what the deal is for the bachelorette. I’m totally floored. We’re 8 weeks away from the wedding and FI’s has been mostly planned for a month already! So I call my sister and she says “Oh, I didn’t forget – i’ve just been really busy with work.” Right. Because a part-time job at a bookstore is pretty demanding, eh? But I didn’t give her a hard time, I just asked her to get it in gear because I need to know if I need to take a Saturday off, etc. I gave her a guestlist and told her who to talk to and exactly what had to be done to get things moving in the right direction.
Well this was a week ago and she has done NOTHING so far! I’m really disappointed! I want to give her the benefit, but I have very few weekends free and now with 7 weeks to go until the wedding she hasn’t even told people a date yet. I feel like we need to get this show on the road already and she just won’t do it. Goddamn college kids!
Any suggestions on how to light a fire under her ass without totally taking this away from her?
Post # 3
I have tried to just not think about my bridesmaids a lot.. it’s a bad time for all of them. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister – she in her last year of law school, is graduating & studying for the bar. She won’t be at my bachelorette, and isn’t involved in it at all. My third bridesmaid wasn’t at my shower, and won’t be at my bachelorette. She lives out of state and is busy with a new job.
If I thought too much about how little they are doing to be involved, I’d get upset, cause it’s totally not what I would do if I were in someone’s wedding..
But what can you do. Life is what it is.. they can’t make it, they can’t be involved – we just plan around it. I had to have my shower 3 months before my wedding cause that’s when my sister was on break.
I guess you could just get together with another bridesmaid and start planning it w/o her, tell her when you are metting to talk about it, and if she wants to be involved, she can be… if not, at least you’ll still get it planned.
Post # 4
Honestly it sounds like she doesn’t want to do it. If your Bridesmaid or Best Man want to I’d say have them. If no one throws one is it really THAT big of deal? Or is it something you HAVE to have? Your sister might feel weird because it’s like your demanding for her to do something for you. Let it up to her or your Bridesmaid or Best Man. I’d tell your Bridesmaid or Best Man they need to talk to your sister instead of you. Or throw your own if you have to have it.
Post # 5
Maybe instead of letting your Maid/Matron of Honor plan all of it, you can put her in charge of something specific like dinner reservations, invitations or games to play and let the rest of BMs plan the rest. What would your Maid/Matron of Honor most enjoy planning?
Post # 6
I’d tell one of your BMs to talk to her and plan with her – aka plan it all herself, but let your sister save face.
Post # 7
Well it just sounds like she means well but isn’t following through. Which, by the way, has nothing to do with being in college. I’m in college and am planning an out of state wedding and am in 2 weddings with those events to plan for and I’m still on top of things, mixed in with personal issues. I know people that are out of college and working and just have a hard time staying on top of things. Procrastination? Laziness? Who knows.
I agree with some of the others, maybe you should have another Bridesmaid or Best Man contact her and step in and “help” her. Sorry, good luck!
Post # 8
I can totally relate to you! Reading your post was like reading about what Im going through too. Love my sister, but she hasn’t ever been IN a wedding, let alone been someones Maid/Matron of Honor. We are going out of town for my Bach Party and the idea in the beginning was to send little STD’s to the girls to allow plenty of planning time. That has now been thrown out as time has been flying by. Also, any other plans (showers etc etc) she just refers to my cousin (one of the BM’s) for planning ideas and leaves the other girls out….making them feel out of the loop and offended.
I have tried delegating jobs to other BM’s but my sister takes it personally and swears she will get started. Other bm’s have tried contacting her, but “her life is just so busy” right now. Needless to say, I just booked the hotel and dinner reservations myself, so if everything else falls through, we at least have an affordable place to stay and reservations at my fav restaurant.
Sigh……Im really trying not to come off as a “bridezilla” and start putting my foot down, but Maid/Matron of Honor is beginning to make me think I just need to take over and delegate.
Post # 9
You could tell her one of your other BMs approached you and really wants to help plan (talk to another Bridesmaid or Best Man about this before of course). That way the work can get done and she won’t feel like you’re taking the reins.
Post # 10
Well I called her up and basically laid it out for her. I gave her the chance to back out with no hard feelings, and when she said she really wanted to do it I told her I was a little miffed that she’s blaming not doing it on her 30 hr. a week job when I work 60+ and have planned the whole damn wedding. I get a call back an hour later – she made reservations at the restaurant, called 4 car companies for quotes to get us home and e-mailed all the girls invites.
I guess she just needed a kick in the pants! I feel a whole lot better. 🙂