Post # 1
Devoted lurker, and I’d love some advice on the etiquette of this situation:
I used to live in Atlanta, which is where the wedding is being held this May. After getting engaged I moved to DC (10 hours away) and started grad school. We made our guest list just after moving here, when I didn’t know anyone well, so no one from my grad school is on the invite list — but now several of my DC grad school friends want to throw me a bachelorette party in DC. It seems like it would probably be pretty rude to then not invite them to the wedding: yes or no? My questions, I guess:
Does this mean I need to invite the organizers?
What about other girls coming to the bachelorette? They want a list of who I’d like to have come: should I limit it only to people that I’m then okay having to invite to the wedding?
(For what it’s worth, the wedding is small: approx 70 people. If I invite any of my classmates, I’ll end up needing to invite at least 8 people, once everyone in the same circle & their SOs are included. Not a huge number, but not insignificant percentage-wise.)
I feel so awkward about this that I wish I could call it off, but I already said yes, and they’re really excited. Thanks for any help!
Post # 3
Technically from an etiquette standpoint, anyone involved with pre-wedding parties should be invited to the wedding. I’m sure in this day & age there would be a little bit more flexibility since the wedding is several hours from where you live, but to be safe invite those who plan or attend your bach party.
Post # 3
I agree. Better to be safe and invite them, then to potentially offend your new friends. So I guess like you said, stick to inviiting only those you’d be comfortable with inviting to your wedding, but also consider if there are other friends who may be offended that they weren’t invited to your Bach. Party. I would also be sure you run it by your Fiance before adding more guests to your wedding.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@DaneLady: That’s not actually true. If coworkers, which is what fellow grad students are, decide to host a shower or party that includes mostly just coworkers and they are aware they aren’t bring invited, that is considered to bot violate etiquette.
So to the OP, it’s absolutely fine, but you need to have the conversation (it’s hard, I know) in which you let them know that you aren’t inviting any of them to the weddings, but would lvoe to celebrate with them if they still want to. I’m in grad school myself, and in situations like these, we usually suspect we aren’t invited, but are still so excited for our colleague that we want to party with her anyway.