Post # 1
Hello, all! This is my first post here because I could really use some advice. My fiance asked me if his cousin’s wife could go with me and my girls on our bachelorette weekend, and I said “sure”. I’ve hung out with her a few times and we get along fine, so I don’t mind if she comes. However, I have a feeling that his sister expects to be invited and I really don’t want to invite her. I kind of have a sore spot for her due to the way she mooches off his aging parents and neglects her kids. Also, she is almost 10 years older than me and I feel like she would be “out of place” among me and my friends, but not just because of the age difference. I also want to be able to have a great time and not feel like there’s a “spy” with us. I would never do anything to wrong my fiance, but I don’t feel like he needs to know every detail of our trip. We plan on going to see male dancers and I just feel like I would be really uncomfortable with her there watching. Again, I wouldn’t do anything “wrong”, but I don’t feel like he needs to know if someone pulls me on stage or grinds in my lap, you know? Anyway, I’m not sure how to handle this whole situation so any advice would be appreciated!
Post # 3
@WalrusSlap: I totally feel you on the spy thing. Things I have said to my bridesmaids have slowly been getting leaked back to my FMIL. Myt FSIL is a bridesmaid so that adds even more to the dilemma. I am stuck what to do because I want to have fun but I dont want FMIL hearing all the details.
Post # 4
@WalrusSlap: Hi, welcome to the hive! Great name!
Just because someone expects to be invited to anything is no guarantee they actually will…I would just let the hostess know that the cousin has a green light, FSIL is a red….no explanation necessary!
If she does muster enough gall to ask, I would tell her you didn’t think she’d want to come.
Post # 5
Yeah, I debated whether or not to ask my fiance’s sister to be a bridesmaid. Even though his cousin’s wife is going with us on the Bachelorette trip, I don’t think I’ll ask her to be a bridesmaid. I never knew this wedding planning stuff could get so complicated! Thanks for the reply!
Post # 6
That sounds like a good plan to me. I’m the one contacting everyone about the trip, so I’ll be the one telling them who goes and who doesn’t. I’m hoping she just won’t bring it up. Also, she refuses to work so I don’t know where she would even get the money from to make the trip. Maybe if she ends up asking why she wasn’t invited, I can tell her that I didn’t think she’d have the money. Thanks for the reply!