Bachelorette Party Drama

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What would you do?
    Pay up and party on -- she's only getting married once. : (19 votes)
    41 %
    Politely decline -- find another way to show your support. : (23 votes)
    50 %
    Other (explain below) : (4 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I would decline and take her out seperately. Maybe just a spa trip for the two of you? You’ll spend less, get more one on one time, and then she shouldn’t be upset about you missing the big event. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @sallycakes:  I wouldn’t care to party with my sister’s friends anyhow, and I’m sure the feelings are mutual.

    I would tell Sis I couldn’t make it and buy her and FI a nice bottle of champagne for their wedding night or honeymoon.

    Post # 5
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I know I’d be super hurt if my sister didn’t  bother to come to my bachelorette party-I woulnt ever do that to her. If you do decide to drop, at least talk to your parents, or even her to let them know the financial commitment for the party is too much for you-dont wait until the last minute to let her know you wont be coming along

    Post # 6
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d say suck it up and go. This is your SISTER, cut out eating out or nails for a month if you have to to afford it. In 5 years will the $300 matter more or being there for your sister matter more? 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I think you should ask your sister how important it is to her to have you there.  My sister and I have a large age difference and she has two kids, so I doubt she’ll be at my b’ette even though I’m planning to have her as my MOH.  But, if it’s important to your sister for you to be there, explain that you think the plans have gotten a little out of hand and see if she can talk to the person planning it.  If she wants to do what’s out of your budget (and it truly is out of your budget, not just “oh, I’d rather get some new clothes”), offer to go out for dinner and drinks another time with her.

    Post # 9
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee

    Suck it up, $300 dollars for a weekend trip is a good deal and I would not want to rock the boat over something so frivalous.  If need be, choose one event, everyone needs food so dinner and drinks is kind of a must.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @sallycakes:  I dont know what kind of spending you are doing. I’m just saying that it’s your sister so if you can cut somewhere to afford to be there you probably should unless she’s told you she doesn’t mind if you don’t come. I mean are you venting and not wanting anyone to comment or are you looking for feedback? Sheesh. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    294 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @sallycakes:  

    I think money is something very sensitive and those with more money will always think that what they’re asking is “reasonable” compared to those without. I think you should make her understand that you CANNOT afford that but also provide a number you would be able to afford. Then perhaps you can work something out with her or your parents? (not sure) so that you’d be able to go. 

    I feel like if money is tight- then it shouldn’t matter if they think you’re being “mean” for not coming because MONEY IS IMPORTANT!!! You have to eat!!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2992 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    If it is beyond your budget and the others are unwilling to compromise, I would skip the party and go out with your sister separately.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6900 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    It is all too easy it is for some people to spend for people when it isn’t their own.  I’m sorry, but $300 to someone on a budget like the OP’s is, in reality, a LOT of money all by itself, let alone on top of a wedding, a shower, her own wedding to plan, and just everyday expenses.    It is totally, totally  inconsiderate of those planning this event not to get a consensus, especially from the immediate family members.

    Post # 15
    Member
    430 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I would tell your sister about your financial issues and let her know that you simply cannot participate in all of the events. Say that you can’t go tubing, can’t go to the spa, or can’t go out drinking. She can go out with her girlfriends and you can stay back at the hotel for a couple of hours. I think you could easily cut out the spa, and if you’re not much of a drinker, tell her that you absolutely hope she has a great night, but you will be staying back to get some work done and will join them at the other events. That way you’re still there and showing your support, but it costs way less.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7286 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @TGold:  for the win.

    $300 isnt chump change to some people and its very presumtious to tell someone else how they should be cutting back in other areas to make what is essentially a party. 

     

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