Bachelorette Party Drama :(

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

First off, I’m so sorry to hear abotu your mom…how is she doing now?  Secondly…Ugh…I would be SO pissed at BM1, even if you didn’t already have your mom’s situation going on.  How incredibly insensitive and rude of her.

You should communicate to her how hurt you were, given what else is going on in your life, and that she made the decision to drop out of your wedding and since then, you have decided it’s probably the best that she did so.  I’d have no tolerance for a “friend” like that…awful.

Will you need to replace her?  Or will you just have 1 less girl?

 

Post # 3
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

britty:  People make mistakes . It comes down to your choice- do you want to salvage the friendship or not?

Post # 4
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

Woooooow! Ok in my circle of friends the hen party is about the bride not random men and defo not drugs considering circumstances. It sounds like shes a b it self absorbed. If you dont feel you want her as a bm thats your choice tell her sorry but after she backed out you sold her dress? Or maybe just be honest and say your stressed and dont need the hassle. Sorry about your mum x 

Post # 5
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Tell her she’s welcome to come as a guest if she’d like… I mean, if you want her there. I probably wouldn’t, but.

Post # 6
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Wow! Im sorry to hear about everything you’re going through. I totally understand you in this situation and I would definitely just leave it alone. BM1 brought it upon herself to act out even knowing about your situation. You are too close to your wedding to be patching anything and I would simply just tell her sorry I can’t go through with having you by my side.

Post # 8
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

WOW. GIRLS.  First off, so sorry you’re dealing with family issues.  TWO: incredibly insensitive BM1 and BM2.  Three: why all the drama?! (not you, but your bridesmaids).  I don’t get girls. It’s your weekend, your bachelorette.  The one weekend where it SHOULD be pretty much about your wants and needs.  WTF.  I’d have a heart to heart with them and see where it goes.  I wouldn’t be so quick to forgive and certainly wouldn’t forget. IMO.

Post # 9
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

britty:  so sorry to hear about your mother. Glad she’s on the mend. 

There is no way on this planet that if one of my BM’s acted this way would she still be in my bridal party! As it was your bachelorette she should have respected what you wanted which was a chilled time in Vegas watching a few shows!

I would have been livid if that was me.

She decided to message you saying she and BM2 No longer wanted to be a part of your day. Who was she to speak on someone else’s behalf? 

BM2 wants to be part of your day after clarification and now suddenly BM1 wants to be too? Sorry would cut it for me! 

If I was you I would let het be a guest but no way would I associate myself with someone who did that on my bachelorette! 

Hope things work out for you 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can entirely understand if you don’t want deal with or see BM1 at all right now.

But, if you think you can handle it, I recommend meeting up with her for coffee or lunch and see what she says. If she takes the initiative to apologize sincerely, then maybe consider her place in the wedding.

If she trys to justify her behavior or only wants to talk about being a bridesmaid without any sign of apology, then just tell her that you agree that its best that she not be a bridesmaid (after all, she came up with the idea of dropping out first!). If you still want to have her around at all, you can invite her as a guest.

Post # 11
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

britty:  I’m so sorry about what’s happening with your family, that’s terrible.

I think you need to decide if it’s going to be more emotionally draining to be around this person right now, or if it’ll be more draining to sever the relationship.  Choose whatever is easier for you right now.  I also went through an acute family medical crisis recently and I know that I had exactly 0 emotional bandwidth for anything else at the time.

If you think it’s going to be easier on you to cut her out I’d say, “BM1, I’m going through one of the most difficult times in my life right now and I really don’t have time for this added stress.  You removed yourself from the wedding party and I’m not asking you to rejoin.  I hope we can repair our friendship in the future, but I can’t handle this right now.”

If you think it’d be easier to just keep the peace then, “Let’s meet up for coffee and clear the air.  You’re one of my oldest friends, I’m sure we can patch things up.”

Post # 12
Member
4640 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t refer to that as a ‘mistake’… Its hardly a whoopsy there’s guys AND drugs here, my bad. Its just trashy behavior and very selfish considering the weekend was supposed to be about you.

I think you need to decide if you want to keep her friendship. If so, meet up with her and see what she has to say and go from there.

Post # 13
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

britty:  So Sorry you put up with that. You mentioned that you weren’t a big fan of BM1, so I don’t think you should have her in your wedding. I agree with other people that you could welcome her as a guest.

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