Bachelorette Party DRAMA!!

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Ooh I’m so sorry 🙁 

I know how you feel, one of my BM’s is strapped for money and couldn’t pay for her shoes are hair…so my sister (My MOH) and I are helping out, and it’s like.. hm it almost doesn’t feel right, you know? Cause we’re spending thousands of dollars throwing together a wedding, and those in our wedding (who’ve had nine months to save/prepare), can’t afford their shoes or whatever. It’s almost kinda hurtful to me in a way. but yeah it’s a HUGE stress. I hate money.

Post # 5
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’ve read posts where the bridesmaids pay for the bride-to-be at her bachelorette party but I really wanted to go out in a big limo and paid for my own way and then a little more because I didn’t want it to be too much of an expense for anyone.  If you want to help your friend out financially to include her you might need to do so privately if you don’t want the other BMs to know you let her borrow some money.

Post # 6
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Well I think you have two options:

1. take over the bach party planning yourself. That way you can just plan something low key that everyone can afford, and there will be no drama. Whatever you say goes.

2. tell all the BMs that you refuse to be involved in the planning of the bach party due to the drama. Tell them you just want to show up and have a good time. You’re planning a wedding, and you don’t need the added stress of this. Don’t pay for your friend. Let the BMs work it out.

Good luck and keep us updated 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah I’m dealing with some drama as well. I’ve posted about it elsewhere and can’t even get into it right now but I’ve got broke ones who other people are paying for and then they back out anyway, a Matron of Honor/Maid of Honor passive-aggression war and now Matron of Honor isn’t going pretty much bc she didn’t get her way on the plans. Whatever. I was the one who wanted to invite OOT people and go somewhere outside of the city and in doing that I was prepared for people to not be able to come, it’s just all the bullshit drama that has gone on in the process that is so annoying. Passive aggressive behavior annoys me.

Post # 9
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I understand where Kaybee is coming from but at the same time, if tatie has been paying for nearly everything for this  girl to be in the wedding, she never should have agreed to be a BM. I know it’s important to tatie, but part of agreeing to be in a wedding is the financial responsibility. 

If i know anything about anyone, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that nearly any girl can cut a few things out of her spending to save a few bucks to pay for things. Because of this wedding, I’ve cut down on soo many things trying to save money, how often I go out, gas, do I really need the extra pack of gum? I eat at home all the time now, I don’t go shopping anymore unless I know I NEED something. And if I do go shopping, I stick to my list – little things like that help to save a few dollars here and there which add up nicely in the end. I’m definitely not a pro, but just saying it’s possible.

and it’s hurt being a bride and feeling responsible to help your friend, but also a little hurt/annoyed that they’re not really helping a whole lot. 

Post # 11
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@tatie – LOL try paying for your BMs dress AND shoes and two of your other maids paying for her share of the bachelorette so she can come, having her tell you she’s coming and excited, then her bailing out with BS excuses, and then finding out she’s been lying/concealing from you the real reason she isn’t coming. Friends are really awesome sometimes.

Post # 13
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@tatie – I know, right? With this girl it’s less that she’s a bad friend and more that she’s a huge flake who is bad at confrontation and avoids situations that give her anxiety. I’m used to it but it’s still annoying. 

Post # 16
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

That’s awesome!  I love updates!!

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