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I didnt ask my friends to spend any on my bachelorette party. They planned it themselves and i had no input. We didnt do your typical bachelorette party instead we went out to a nice restaurant for dinner and went to a comedy show afterwards. We had a fantastic night! I never saw the bill but im guessing they spent around 175 - 200 each. To answer your question i dont think 175-200 for 3 nights is expensive at all. However, i think the girls are throwing this for you so i dont think you should tell them what they should be spending or even where but more just give suggestions on what you would ike to do if asked!
I think thats a good amount. I am actually not a part of the planning process but i was told that would be the approximate ammount.
Also, I am paying my own way. I know its not customary to do so but I do feel bad about asking people to travel and spend a lot of money for me.
My bachelorette is a complete surprise to me being planned by my MOH and bridesmaids (honestly all I know about it is the date, and that there will be 3 activities over the course of the day). I don't know what a typical cost is though, since I've never been a bridesmaid, and the only bachelorette parties I've been to I've paid around $50 for myself and a contribution for the bride. Yours sounds like a super fun weekend though!!
If the rest of them are fine, have you just said to your sister, "I spent more than this on yours." ??
I don't know what typically good costs are, we are going to my MoH's cabin in the mountains so the space is free. I dk how much food and wine and all the rest is going to be...So I didn't vote.
That's what I'd expect to pay for a weekend away - but, I know a lot of my friends wouldn't be able to afford that type of thing
... you might want to try to get a firm commitment from people, because I'd imagine prices will rise as peopel back out.
I think that's reasonable for what you are getting. But, that still doesn't mean that everyone will be able to afford it, especially with all the other expenses that go along with being in a wedding.
I *think* my bridal party and I are going to winery hopping and then spending the night in the area. We'll probably all cram in 1-2 rooms, so I'm guessing we'll spend maybe $100/each...I would hate for them to spend more than that.
That would hurt my feelings if I spent a lot of money on my sister's bachelorette, and I was trying to be nice by paying my own way & finding a deal, and she was unable/unwilling to pay for mine.
I don't think that that amount is a lot but if she can't or doesn't want to afford it, then there really isn't much you can do about it. See if there is a way you can reduce the cost to everyone a little bit or just tell her that you're sorry but you're not the one planning this and while you'd love for her to attend, you understand if she can't afford it.
The hosts of the party should be the ones discussing costs with everyone, not you. Ask whoever is in charge to try to reduce the costs or offer to cover some of your twin's share if it's important to you that she is there. Then have the hostess call her and tell her what's up.
considering its a whole weekend, that sounds like a fair price. have fun!
could your sister have some issues with her own wedding/bachelorette party that are making her upset?
$175 is an amazing deal if it's including drinks, snacks, meals, games and room & board for three nights!!
so jealous. I wanted an all weekend party. have fun!
She might be jealous? I have always had a large group of close girlfriends and she has usually stuck with a friend or two and her now husband
I don't know exactly what we are doing while we are there. All I know is how much the tentative cost is because I am paying my way.
I think it's a great deal and everyone says they are so excited. I am willing to pay her cost too f it helps but I think she should just be nice and go. She didn't even have to buy her own dress so there's her trip money :)
I don't think that sounds like a lot at all for 3 days away! I agree with others that you shouldn't be dealing with the costs side of things though, because that makes it awkward. I think your MOH, or whoever is planning the event, should tell everyone what the costs are and then it should be up to each bridesmaid's discretion whether or not she can afford it. Maybe also do a casual night out in your hometown so that anyone unable to go on the trip can still celebrate with you on a night out that doesn't cost very much?
I would do something else for those unable to attend however the only one who has said anything negative is my sister. Thanks for all of your input!
@kc3636: same with me. They planned it and they paid for it, though they asked me some questions and I tried to be mindful of how much I thought stuff would cost. ie we could have gone to Atlantic City which would have been more expensive than going out in Philly which is what we did. I'd say they must have each paid between $100-150 between 7 people, but I'm not sure.
My sister is planning my bachelorette party. She has an idea of what I would like, but I am not involved in cost calculating, since technically brides don't plan their own pre-wedding parties.
It will be the same weekend as the shower, since most everyone is OOT and I don't want people to have to travel more than necessary. We'll be at the beach, in a 'cheaper' beach town, Hampton, NH. Kind of cheesey, but I think it will be great. I love the beach and being outside, so this will be awesome.
As far as I'm concerned, the cost between $100-$200 is fair reasonable, coz it's a 3days away! I'm sure you'll have fun ;-)
Mine is being planned for me but I know they are asking everyone attending for $140. That's two nights in Vegas, Chippendales tickets, club cover charge, and some amount pitched in for my drinks and food. That does not include their food or drinks but as far as I know, no one has complained so far and the few that have mentioned anything to me told me what a great price that is for what we're doing.
It depends on the situation... I got married at 20 years old, my friends were still in college. While I would have LOVED a spa day or weekend away as my party, these girls wouldn't even go to dinner at PF Changs because it was "too expensive". But it was the phase of life they were in, was I upset, yes, very - that they couldn't save up $20 just for dinner - because all we were doing afterwards was playing games at my sisters house. So I was hurt, but what could I do?
Now, if I had waited til I was 25 to get married, or even 30, most would have had jobs/careers and may have been more willing to pay for something like that. I would have loved a bachelorette like the one you're planning, but it wasn't feasible given the situation.
So, have you taken into account the financial situations of your friends? Even now, if a friend got married (and I'm married), it would be difficult for me to shell out nearly $200 for a bach party, but if it was a dear friend, I would do it... So you said you ARE in your thirties and the girls have great careers and if everyone has been on board, why not?
I wouldn't worry about your sister too much. Just try talking to her. Are you guys not that close? Sorry it's hard :( But sounds like a great party!
I'm going to the beach with 3 of my girls (it's within driving distance for us). We're getting a hotel room that will cost about $75 per person for the weekend. They will also have to pay for their food and drinks, but I assume the total cost would be in the $100 to $200 category. I personally wouldn't mind spending that much for a weekend, and my girls seem excited about it. I guess it depends on your girls and their circumstances.
Question, hope its not thread-jacking, is along the same line of your poll-- how do you ask the attendees/BMs for contribution?? I am an out of state MOH planning a lingerie shower/bach party same night a few days before the wedding when everyone will be in town. I am arranging for a private room @ a restaurant and transportation of some sort... there are 7-8 BMs and probably will be 10-15 additional people who come to the party; how do I ask the others for $$ or do you not ask?!
I just dont want to get stuck paying for everyone elses food,drinks and limo ride, Im Ok w the bride, but not the whole group, as I am a full time grad student & work part time. I realize as the MOH I have a greater resposibility but not all the financial, right?!
@Kell-belle: Send a group email to the other bridesmaids allowing them to throw out ideas.
Send individual emails asking if they would be comfortable contributing.
Honestly, you shouldn't plan or book anything until you have peoples' budgets and offers of contributions. No, you shouldn't be expected to pay for expensive food and drinks for everyone, but on the same token if you plan something and then ask for people to help out, don't expect to get an even split between you and the rest of the participants.
My girls probably spent $50 or less on mine (each), but it was just one night out!
I think that seems very fair for three nights - but are you sure your friends want to/are able to devote three full days to your bachelorette party? I can't say I'd be thrilled to devote an entire weekend to partying unless it was for my very best friend.
I do love bachelorette parties and enjoy a night out with the girls - but three days/nights seems like a lot to me. So, if I was invited, it wouldn't be so much the price that would deter me from going, but the time commitment.
ETA: I just saw that everyone is on board except for your sister. That is disappointing and weird for your sister to be the one hesitating with the plan... I guess I would just talk to her and let her know that the price is comparable (less, even) to what you spent on hers.
@futuremrsfitz18: Thank you so much for your suggestions! I will do that individually... I did post a message to all, we have a FB page created by the bride just for the bridal party, but the only feedback Ive gotten in the past month is from 2 other people, and its now getting closer so am just trying to get things moving, as Im afraid if we wait too long it will be harder to make reservations and get everyone an invite....(its 2.5 mos away!)
I'm fairly certain that some of my friends would be pissed off if I told them they had to shell out $175 for a 3 night bachelorette weekend. If they came to that idea on their own then I'm sure it would be fantastic, but for it to come from the bride, puts it in a whole other catgeory.
My bachelorette party is in the works...we had originally planned Vegas, but that fell through and ultimately decided to stay in Boston. Everyone was fine with paying several hundred dollars. The last bachelorette party I helped host cost me $400 (and that was after the bride's mother made us each pay $350 per bridesmaid to host her shower at a restaurant). I'm expecting that my BM will pay at least a few hundred and, even though my bachelorette is a surprise, I know my Matron and Maid of Honor will likely spend even more. I'd do it for them (and am actually doing the same for my matron of honor who is getting married this summer). It's pretty par-for-the-course with the people I know. $175 is a steal!
I went to Nashville for a bachelorette party last year. We were there for a weekend and paid $130 for the hotel room, customized shirts and a pole dancing class (and included us paying for the bride for these things). It didn't include meals or anything- but we didn't go to any super fancy places, so that wasn't too bad. And honestly- the bride didn't expect us to cover everything for her so I think I might have bought her a drink or two...but she really covered herself most of the time.
My BMs planned my b-party themselves, I just attended. I think it is kind of wierd that you are planning your own. I wanted them to plan it so they would plan what they could afford and were comfortable paying for. I think it is a bit much to ask girls to take off work for 3 days, a bridal shower, and the wedding. I know my girls would not be able to do this and I would feel bad asking them to do so. Its not always so much the putting out of money but also the loss of money coming in from missing work.
Oh I am not planning my own. I didnt mean to convey that at all! I simply knew the round about cost becuase I offered to pay my own way to alleviate the expense from the girls.
I feel like this thread somewhere I didnt intend. My question was how much would you expect to pay to go to an out of town bachelorette party.
Also, I am asking them to take one day off before the wedding. My bachelorette is over the weekend and many of them live in the Houston area and can travel after work. My friends don't work on the weekend.
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Hey Hive,
I want to find out your opinion to see if I am way off base in what I am asking my friends to spend on my bachelorette party.
My bachelorette party is going to be a weekend getaway at a beach house in Galveston, TX. I purposely chose Galveston becuase it is driving distance for all of my Texas friends, many of which live in the Houston area.
For a three night stay including drinks, meals, snacks and games, we are asking those attending to pay $175 per person. Is this ridiculous???Sure I know its more than it would cost to go out on the town for one night in a city we all lived in but its 3 nights, all inclusive!!
We are all around 30 years old and have great careers and they are given 4 months notice!
I guess the biggest reason I am upset is that everyone has been on board except my twin sister. She just got married and I didn't say one word about anything she asked me to purchase or chip in for. I even paid more than that to throw her bachelorette party!! She thinks its ridiculous that I would ask her to spend so much.
Thoughts?!