Post # 1
I am a bridesmaids in my fiance’s brothers wedding (she will be my sister inlaw). She has 2 bridesmaids (her sisters) out of province and then there is me and her friend in province.
I think she is expecting a Bachelorette party since she keeps hinting at it but I am dead broke (make less then $30,000 and my fiance is in school at the moment. We are heavily borrowing from parents to put us through). Her other bridesmaid in province is finishing school and finalizing her weddings plans as well.
Are we obligated to throw her a bachelorette party. I don’t really know or get along with her that great if its just us and I am at a loss for what to do without spending a ton of money. Do I have to throw her a bachelorette party? Can I take a backseat and see what the other bridesmaid does? HELP!
Post # 3
You do not have to, but if her sisters are both out of town, it would be the nice thing to do. BUT, that does not mean you have to spend a lot of money! Where are you located? What does your Future Sister-In-Law like to do for fun? We can help you think up some cheap ideas that will still make her happy and allow everyone to have fun 🙂
Post # 4
I’ve never been to a bachelorette but I’ve read a lot of posts on the bee about how all the bridesmaids get together for a night out and contribute a little – like it doesn’t have to be a big trip. Find a fun spot in town, and then you can all go out. Or to kick the party off, have some potluck food in a friend’s house with some kick-off games or something, and then hit the town. Then I guess your financial responsibility would be a food dish and paying for a drink for the bride (I’m not sure the etiquette of that, but I’ve heard that each Bridesmaid or Best Man or friend in attendance buys the bride a drink so she’s fully stocked all night long) and then whatever other drinks for yourself.
Post # 5
@sarahbabs: We are in Ontario. She likes to play the piano and hang out with her fiance. I know literally nothing about her. The only time I hang out with her is when the brothers (our fiance’s) hang out and we go along so I only know her in a group capacity. I am at a loss of something that is affordable to do. To be at home and drink I don’t even know what we would talk about cause we have nothing in common and are complete opposites which is why I am dreading/not wanting to do this but noone else is taking the lead.
I just kinda want to veto myself since I am putting effort into the shower by doing the games/prizes and favors.
Post # 6
@missjewels: Maybe talk with the other local bridesmaid and see if she would be interested in helming the bachelorette since you are doing the shower? Maybe she’ll be excited about it and you’ll be all set.
If she wants to split the responsibility though, I’d still try to do something, even if it is not big. Don’t feel pressure to throw something epic, but it would be the best to do something. She plays piano – is there a piano bar nearby? Or maybe karaoke?
And drinking at home might sounds awkward, but that is what fun party games are for. Or, to loosen you guys up even more, drinking games 😉 Bachelorette parties are the perfect time to be silly and let loose, so there are all sorts of fun and cheap activities I can suggest if you want to go that route. Also, reach out to the out of town sisters and see if they want to be involved. They might not be able to attend, but they may have ideas. Just be upfront with them about budget so they don’t lead with “A trip to Miami!” or anything like that.
Post # 7
You are not required to throw anything for her. A bachelorette party is a GIFT to the bride, and gifts are never required. It honestly is rude of her to keep ‘hinting’ about it.
Could you host something at your house, if you really feel like you want to have a party for her? It can be low-key, drinks and finger foods, and would be much cheaper than a crazy night out. If this is feasible, talk to the other bridesmaids about it and see what they think, then tell the bride and ask who she wants invited (give her an estimate of what you all can afford to host.)