(Closed) bachelor/ette party hypocrisy?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

double post, sorry! 

Post # 4
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can definitely see where you’re coming from. My Fiance and all of his friends have been told no strippers, but I’m not going to go grind on a guy or do anything inappropriate at my bachelorette party either. I’m going to go dancing with my girls, and that’s it!

I think some of it, though, is that bachelorette parties are a relatively new concept, so people are still finding their way when it comes to what’s socially acceptable at them. I bet in 10 years, there will be “normal” bachelorette activities and a defined list of what’s not okay at them.

Post # 5
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I know this will happen at his party, and quite honestly I’m completely in the dark about what my girls are planning for mine. I don’t think they would ever put him in a position that may lead to problems down the road in the marriage and I expect the same from my girls. 

Post # 6
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Our rules were not to do anything that you wouldn’t mind doing in front of each other. It worked out well for us and we both had fun at our parties. It’s all about mutual respect for each other.

I was also at a bachelorette party where the bride was making out with several other guys, but when she found out that her groom went to a strip club, she flipped out and threatened not to marry him. It is sometimes a double standard, but she clearly didn’t respect him enough to not make out with other guys. It’s sad….

Post # 7
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I honestly don’t contribute to any the posts about bachelor/bachelorette parties anymore, because I can’t relate…at all.

I went and had fun with my girls for my bachelorette party and the next weekend Fiance went and had fun with his guy friends for this bachelor party. We never gave each other restrictions on what could and could not be done because we trust each other.

I do know that Fiance went to a strip club,but that was never a secret. Strippers don’t bother me. They are there working and a lap dance doesn’t mean anything. I think the only time I would have problems with strippers is if Fiance wanted to go all the time, but that is not he case.

Post # 8
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@One2-Three4: i recently read a blog post (not on weddingbee, just a random blogger) about a bride who had a drunk guy at a bar take a shot out of her cleavage (like stick his head down there to get the shot or something). same chick put her foot down and said no strippers for her fiance.

i don’t really understand that either. YOU can have some guy in your cleavage, but your fiance can’t have a lapdance?


Post # 9
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

oooh… double standards… yeah, I’ve had to deal with that, only not in THAT capacity, lol.

I’m lucky: my Fiance isn’t into that sort of thing and would rather have a guys night with his friends gaming or watching movies than going to bars. 

Me, I’ll probably end up being dragged to bars (not that I’d be drinking anything, lol) or hanging out at a friend’s house or shopping with the girls, lol.  Not exactly sure if I’ll have anything planned, though, lol. 

Though, to be perfectly honest, I’d rather we just have a huge party and have everyone over for a good time.  Especially since we’ve been living together for over a year now, lol.  Guess it’ll depend on what the friends decide to do when it’s closer, lol.

Post # 10
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Although it makes me uncomfortable to think of my Fiance having strippers I told him Im ok with it. My girls are already talking about how they want to do that for me. The way I think of it is, I wont be thinking of it as a big deal to have one, its harmless. So I would think it would be the same for him. He is a very trustworthy person as I hope he thinks the same about me.

He is actually the one more bent on ME not having one, lol. I think with or without one it will still be fun to have a “naughty” night out with the girls. By that I mean with all the penis novelty festivities Im sure they will have going on. I sure hope my FI takes me up on the offer to have a stripper bc in all honesty, it will probably be the only time I will allow this without complaint. Considering its “tradition” and all, haha. I dont want to look like the girl who cracks the whip and does not allow him to take part in this with the groomsmen.

Post # 11
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We’re not all hypocrites, though.

I am against strippers being present at the bachelor party, yes. (For the record, so is Fiance.) But Fiance and I decided immediately when we started talking about our parties that we would play by the same rules.

Anything that’s not okay for him is not okay for me, and vice versa. And we’re both happy with that.

Post # 12
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

The key is to agree on what you are ok with BEFORE the parties. I could care less about my Fiance having strippers at his bachelor party and I don’t plan on having any at mine (God knows what my BMs are planning though). If he wasn’t ok with me having strippers at my bachelorette I would be fine with that and honor his feelings. I don’t think you both have to have the same boundaries. I have noticed an increasing number of girls posting on here that they didn’t realize how upset they would get until after the bachelor party. In those instances you are kinda SOL because you can’t blame him for changing your mind after the fact.

Post # 14
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

“I honestly don’t contribute to any the posts about bachelor/bachelorette parties anymore, because I can’t relate…at all.” This kind of me also, in the complete opposite sense. I can’t relate to anyone who’s ok with their partners enjoying other naked women, or who forgive their FI’s for all the crap they do at these things. It would be the end of our relationship. He doesn’t go and I don’t go, no double standards at our home and no complaints.

Post # 16
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel like most of the people posting about being uncomfortable with their fiances’ bachelor parties are not the ones having crazy bachelorette parties.  Maybe there are people, but I have no examples and it feels more like a straw man argument to me.

I can only speak for myself, and since I really don’t care what trouble he gets up to, I’m not going to feel hypocritical for getting up to some myself.

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