Bachelorette Party – Obligatory?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you can’t afford to go, that is a reasonable reason not to.  And I think you should openly bring up that concern, and say you want to go, but you can’t spend more than you can afford on it.

Post # 4
7207 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nope. IMO your life shouldn’t be negatively impacted because of someone elses party. A real friend would be mindful of that and not hold it against you.


Post # 5
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

The only thing you “have” to do is show up at the wedding, smile pretty and hold the bride’s bouquet. Unfortunately, it’s not common for other people to try to dump other “requirements” on you. You have a very valid reason for not attending this weekend. And, you DO have a life outside of this wedding.

I’d have a face to face with the bride- “I would LOVE to be there, but with the other expenses that I have for your wedding, I’m just not going to be able to swing this weekend.”

Post # 6
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@introvertedgal:  No, you don’t have to go. I find it particularly obnoxious when people pass their costs on to others. Why isn’t the girl who is planning it paying for everyone? It sounds like you’re shouldering the cost for the whole bridal shower / not getting help from the other BMs, so I don’t know why you’d be expected to help with the bachelorette party. I could be wrong here.  

If you don’t drink, you don’t have to pay for drinks – just get your own tab. Tell the other girl you’ll just venmo her for the hotel room. 

Post # 8
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Tell the bride of your financial concerns… she should take that into consideration given you her only BM and MOH!!

My MOHs can’t afford anything expensive, so I just go with the flow for a chill night at home, instead of a weekend getaway even thought I can afford it.

I also have to pay for one of my MOH’s flight bc she cant afford to come to DW. If it’s important for the bride that you BE there… she will make an effort to make it happen… help you out or tell you that you don’t have to split the cost or pay for her… etc.

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