Bachelorette Party vent…I'm the MOH…why is this so difficult??

posted 2 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

In my experience, it’s always difficult to plan things when lots of girls are involved. But it’s great that you’re doing this for your friend and I’m sure she’ll love it all. Hang in there, just a few more weeks!

Post # 3
Member
5002 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

MissCountryGirl727:  That bachelorette party sounds amazing! I love the zombie bride / zombie bridesmaids.

That said – I feel like this falls under the posts of “WHY CANT PEOPLE SEND BACK THEIR RSVPs???”. People are selfish and don’t think the way that people like you (or I) do. I would either start saving money, or say no immediately. People don’t think of others and their convenience, only how convenient it is for them. Sad, but true. 

Post # 4
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t think it has to do with girls or boys being more difficult – it has to do with whether or not you’re trying to make plans with a bunch of flakes. And it sounds like your group is unfortunately like 80% flakes.

Zombie bride bar crawl sounds like an amazingly good time though!!!

Post # 5
Member
4752 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I was moh for my friend and she had 9 bridesmaids. It was seriously SUCH a pain in the ass. Never again. I ended up not being MOH because the bride herself was a flake and when I tried to make plans for the bachelorette party she said “idk, I don’t like making plans that far in advance”…. people are ridiculous sometimes. 

Post # 6
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - The Villa

I think it all just depends on the people you are dealing with. My FI couldn’t get his guys to pony up $200 for a flight and he was covering accommodations for the whole weekend. Meanwhile, my BMs have planned an entire weekend (out of town, I think… i’m in the dark) with seemingly no hitches.

*shrugs*

Post # 7
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry.  This is just a lack of manners.  It sucks.  Just keep doing what you’re doing, sending reminders.  Two weeks in advance sounds like a reasonable cut off to me.  If they want to join thereafter, then they can purchase their own tickets / make their own arrangements.

Post # 8
Member
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just to stand up for girls – I feel like in my circle of friends, the girls are much more responsive and organized about these sorts of things. It’s the boys who somehow find it acceptable to hide instead of just saying YES or NO to an invitation.

I’m with you. It’s super frustrating.

Post # 9
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

jamb:  +1.

Carry on without the people you haven’t heard of. It sounds like you’ve done everything you can at this point. If they want to come later on they can arrange it.

The bachelorette seems to be an issue when travelling out of town I’ve found in my experience. But what you have planned sounds like a ton of fun and whomever doesn’t come, it’s their loss for sure!

Post # 10
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think any group of people it seems to be one or two people who it’s like pulling teeth to get them to do anything.  Just think of all those group projects you did in school.  There was a leader by default, one or two people who just loved getting things done, and the rest would need to be kicked and dragged through the whole process and you really wondered why you were all given an A when 2 deserved and F. 

Post # 11
Member
458 posts
Helper bee

That sounds like a really fun bachelorette party!  If I were you, I’d just be firm and stick to my deadline, and if they don’t pay then just tell them that they’re out, no big deal.  That suckst that you had to go through all of that though.

Post # 12
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Planning for a group of people sucks in general. There are just way too many inconsiderate people out there. 

However, your bachelorette party sounds so fun! I love Halloween.

Post # 14
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

MissCountryGirl727:  I want to go!

I find it is infinitely easier to just lay it out there and set deadlines from the beginning. I plan a lot of our offsite work trips, and I don’t really leave options open anymore because people flake. In the future ( maybe for showers or whatever), I just say: We are meeting at X place at Y time, it’ll be $x and you should plan to wear ______”. Nicer than that, but basically just that.

Post # 15
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m MOH for my best friend and there are three other bridesmaids. I’ve just given up on having one of them be part of anything on time at this point. I’ve planned so many things, gotten discounts, sent emails with promo offers for accessories the bride wants us to wear, and she just complains. I literally ended up buying her shoes for her because they went on final clearance. I think all you can do is just try your hardest to do your part, and if she isn’t going to participate, then that’s on her.

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