Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning my bachelorette party, and I am trying to help give her some ideas of what I like, but I was wondering if just the bridal party is supposed to cover the cost of the bride/transportation/etc, or can that be divided up among everyone that comes? As an example, can you ask a guest to chip in $15 in addition to the cost of their food/drinks? We aren’t thinking of doing anything super expensive but if 10 girls were invited, the $15 would cover $150 for the bride and any transportation.
I just can’t seem to find a straight answer on the etiquette for this. Please help!
Post # 3
I think it depends on the group. Traditionally the guests that attend cover the costs for themselves and the bride. If there are hotels involved then only the people staying would cover those costs. If people are just coming for the night but using a limo or something the Maid/Matron of Honor can ask them for money to chip in and pay. The bride (you) could also put money if you wanted, but I don’t think that’s typical.
Your Maid/Matron of Honor may want to warn people about the specific cost in advance and try to get money from people in advance so she isn’t left with no help paying the bill. I’m not saying your friends would do that, but there have been some bad stories about expensive costs in the end.
Post # 4
From what I’ve seen and experienced, everyone attending pays their own way and then splits the costs of things for the bride.
Post # 5
Yeah, depends on the group.
I had about 10 ladies get together the Thursday before my wedding. We went out for dinner and drinks. My mom was in the group. She bought my dinner and first drink, and the other ladies picked up a drink on their tab at each place.
It was laid back, fun & totally what I wanted!
Post # 6
For my sister…the BMs and I are picking up the cost of the limo, food, cover charge and drinks at the club for ourselves and the bride. The non-wedding party guests will pay for their own food, drinks, and cover charge at the club.
Post # 7
Okay, that’s what I thought. And my Maid/Matron of Honor would definitely include costs on the invitation and she has even mentioned leaving only her phone number so that everyone has to call and make arrangements to pay in advance. I was just afraid because although my bridesmaids are willing to help out as much as they possibly can, my Maid/Matron of Honor is in a really tough spot right now financially (think single mother who just went from making $400/week to making $150/week).
So, for example, if we were to rent a limo for an hour or something, and the cost was $100, we could split that up between all of the guests?
Post # 8
My bridesmaids got a limo and all of the people that are coming are chipping in for the cost of the limo and drinks that we will have in the limo. They won’t let me chip in for anything, even though I have offered over and over again. I did, however, make favors for the bachelorette party because I wanted to do something. I do plan on paying for my own drinks when we are out. They have already done enough for me.
Post # 9
I am planning a bach right now.
The BM’s are splitting the cost for the brides hotel, car rental and things to do. we havnt figured out food & drinks altho she (the bride) offered to pay
And everyone else pays their own way
Post # 10
I’m the Maid/Matron of Honor for one of my BMs, and for her bach we’re doing an exotic dance lesson, dinner, and a comedy club. Then some folks are staying over in a hotel. A lot of her friends are a bit young and don’t have as much money (not that I do, but I want her to have nice things), so I’m paying for the entire dance lesson as my gift to the party, my share of what we do, and the bride’s share. The other folks are paying for their own dinner, their own drinks, and their own ticket to the comedy club. Those who are staying over in the hotel will pay a share of that, plus parking. If we get a limo, they’ll pay for a share of that.
Post # 11
I am a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my friend’s wedding this weekend. The bride wanted to have a limo and go wine tasting and then stay over at a hotel. A total of 9 people are coming, including the bride and 4 BMs. Everyone (including the bride’s share) is splitting the cost of the limo and hotel, and then each person will pay their own way for tasting fees and for any food that we get. It will be pretty expensive, (around $100 each total) but it is what she wanted to do. I put everything on my credit card, so I am really hoping that they all pay up! I sent out preliminary emails telling people about how expensive it would be so they weren’t blinsided when I told them the per person price.
Post # 12
Well we are planning to get a hotel room at the local casino, but the best man gets free rooms so he is kind of signing one over to us. This will be just for the bridesmaids and myself to stay in ( they don’t allow more than 4 people per room). Before that we are planning on hitting 4th street and having dinner and maybe seeing a comedy show. We will also do a little bit of drinking at the bars before heading to horseshoe and we are going to invite people to come along to horseshoe but not to stay in the hotel room (unless they want to get their own or if we can manage to get a couple more people in the room).
Post # 13
i also think it depends, for my wedding party, whoever came, chipped in for me
but i have gone to some that the wedding party paid for the bride too so i think it really depends on the wedding party
Post # 14
I had two parties. One with just my bridesmaids, and they bought everything. One with a lot of friends that weren’t in the wedding, and they also all chipped in. I know if I were going to a bachelorette party and not in the wedding, I’d want to help pay for the bride’s things still.
Post # 15
I think the bridal party hosts the party, including splitting the cost for the bride. If the party includes outside dinner/drinks/cover charges, it’s okay for guests to cover themselves.
I think one thing to bear in mind is that guests will probably bring a gift for the bride, and are supposed to be, well, guests. It might rub some people the wrong way for the bridal party to charge them money to cover the cost of hosting. Plus, people tend to be more generous when they don’t feel as though they’ve already been hit up for cash. A guest who’s been shown a good time free of charge might end up buying a round of drinks, or bringing a bottle of alcohol with them.
I know that a lot of bridal parties don’t have a ton of money- individually or collectively- to host a ton of people at a club or hotel, so people make variations to fit their needs.
Post # 16
I wasn’t in the bridal party but was invited to my friends sisters bachelorette party. It seems as though it was divided equally amongst the guests, as I had to chip in $20, and I believe that went straight towards a limo. We had snacks and mixed drinks at a bridesmaid’s house beforehand, and when we went out, we had people offering to buy us drinks and bouncers waiving the cover charge everywhere we went.