- 5 years ago
Hi Everyone, I apologize for the long post…
I am my BFF’s Maid of honor and I have started planning her bachelorette back in late November by sending out group emails to the bridesmaids involved (there are 3 total). Since November, only one of them only gave feedback once which was when I asked everyone’s availability (she only listed one weekend in late June). In the first email I sent out, I reminded the girls about possible expenses that are associated with being a bridesmaid (paying for our dress, pitching in for the bride’s share of the bachelorette party just to name some) and asked if anyone had concerns or issues regarding that. Again, the same bridesmaid didn’t respond while the other two were completely fine with it. We ended up making plans to celebrate in Leavenworth, WA since the bride requested to not host it in Seattle and one of bridesmaids already said she could not afford to fly outside of WA.
Two weeks ago, I emailed everyone that I needed the money on the condo the two bridesmaids and I agreed on, was due on March 9th. Out of nowhere, the bridesmaid that was unresponsive personally emails me that she thinks Leavenworth is too sleepy of a town and that it’s going to be too cold to go rafting so we should go to Las Vegas instead. I reopened the discussion with the group and the two other bridesmaids both expressed to her that they both want to stick with the original plan. I also told the bridesmaid that the bachelorette date is roughly three months away and that I could have been able to afford it if we agreed in it back in Nov/Dec.
This bridesmaid has been giving me a hardtime since that group email. At first, she would personally email me “oh I’m not sure if I’m free anymore…”, then tells me she can’t afford a weekend in Leavenworth. So I find a cheaper condo but yet tells me it’s not cheap enough and thinks the white water rafting and wine tour that the group decided was “boring and expensive”. Anyways, she also has been accusing me of being extravagant even though the only expenses we are worrying about (and agreed to) are the condo and the rafting and wine trip. I also have offered other options, such as a payment plan and she continues to tell me I am inconsiderate. Last Friday, she finally tells me she’s only coming for one night, meaning her share for the condo is only $50 for that one night. The last email I sent her that night was asking her if she preferred to mail me the check or do an electronic transfer. She has since not responded to that email and I’m booking the condo on Tuesday.
$50 isn’t much money to me so it’s not a problem to pay for the condo on Tuesday. I’m concerned because of her lack of involvement and communication to the entire party. Even the bride has expressed stress regarding this bridesmaid because she hardly returns her calls and texts and has been complaining about the dresses and other wedding related commitments (that I won’t go into). One of the bridesmaids told me I should just exclude her from future bachelorette planning emails until she responds to my last email and pays me her share of the expenses. I am afraid of making her feel isolated but I am not sure how to solve this issue.