Bachelorette Planning – What a mess!!

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsMounty:  oh my goodness that’s a lot!

the bottom line is (and i have now heard this about 2 billion times since i started planning) this is YOUR wedding and its about YOU. do what makes you happy. you don’t have to accommodate everyone’s feelings…they need to make it work. if you want to do the small one in vegas and the local one as well, do it. you don’t have to defend yourself, and that way there are 2 options for everyone.

Post # 4
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

@MrsMounty:  WOW, I can’t believe your SIL’s are so catty!  Complaining about Vegas to your MOH and then saying, “Let’s just go on our own.”  Wow.  

I think you should do the group one in September, and then the May Vegas trip with your MOH and Bridesmaid D.  It will be less stressful and much more fun in the long run.  

Post # 6
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsMounty:  My guess is that your MoH might have come across poorly in the email to them. I have seen that a lot when planning. To give you an example, my SIL researched and researched for a group gift for my in-laws. Everyone was hemming and hawing because of her tone and the price. Some were willing to suck it up for harmony, but they didn’t think it was a good value. She did her best, but I found a deal that was half the price. Not quite as nice, but nice enough and at a much better price point.

 

For Vegas, spending $1000+ per girl seems normal, but it is way too much to ask if you are all not very comfortable financially. I would freak about being asked to spend that much, especially before booze and food. 

ETA: I just saw your update. My best friend is getting married this summer and I am planning her bachelorette. You chose these girls to stand with you and you knew their ages and maturity levels and income. If $1000 is too much for them– it would be for most girls in my friend’s wedding who make $30-$50k a year– then you knew Vegas was probably out when you picked them. My husband had an amazing, Hangover style, Vegas bachelor party. I had a great time locally where people crashed with me. It wasn’t equal, but I would never ask the girls I want to be there for me throughtout my marriage to have to strain financially for a party they can’t afford. Plus, if they did scrimp and save for vegas, they probably would want to enjoy it in the way a young 20 something would.

If I were you, I would totally cancel Vegas and have a great local bachelorette. It is way easier than all of the hurt feelings.

Post # 8
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Pollywog:  I agree. If I was asked to pay $800 for a Bachelorette Party I would not be able to afford it. It’s possible that I’d freak out as well, though I probably wouldn’t freak out to the person asking. Lol!

@MrsMounty:  OP, was the Vegas Bachelorette Party something that was discussed ahead of time – like when you asked them to be in the Bridal Party was it brought up that you might want to do something like that? Is it possible that your SILs and BM thought you guys were going to do something smaller and less expensive when they agreed and freaked out when they found out that wasn’t the case? It might explain why your SILs reacted by wanting more options for packages and then backtracked when you cancelled.

I also think its possible that you don’t have all the information. All you’re getting is information from MOH and BM D. Have you attempted to talk with your SILs and other BM about this? They might be able to give you a different opinion on what is going on and why they have reacted the way they have – for instance, if there is financial issues or if there are additional emails and texts that you weren’t shown by MOH or BM D.

Post # 9
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t know anyone who would spend $1000 to go to a bachelorette party despite how much money they have. I wouldn’t even consider if it was my best friend or sister. If you want people to go choose something less expensive.

Post # 10
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@MrsMounty:  And just a sidenote, but I wouldn’t chip in for the Bride if I was going on a trip like this either. Its expensive enough as it is, something you yourself acknowledge, and at least she had the decency to flat out say she wouldn’t be contributing to paying your way. She could have been a huge jerk by promising to help pay until the last second and then not paying her part for you.

Post # 11
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d actually be insulted if someone expected me to pay over $800 for myself and pay for the brides???? No way in hell.

 

Post # 14
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsMounty:  That IS messy!

I say stick with the September bachelorette only. It sounds like a great solution to the problem. That way, everyone can go and it is not as expensive. Goodluck!

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