Post # 1
I am getting married in October to the man of my dreams. We has always talked about eloping in Hawaii, but when he finally proposed he told me he really wanted a big day. We are getting married in wine country of San Diego. I have 6 bridemaids, half of which are on the East coast (I am originially from NY). Right when everything happened, I said I don’t need a bachelorette or a bridal shower (our wedding isn’t going to be very traditional). My one BM begged and begged to plan a bachelorette. She planned Vegas for approximatley 15 girls….NOONE wanted to come. I think I had MAYBE 3 girls say yes, and it was a half-hearted yes.
Just to give you a little back story – I have a few good girlfriends, but have never been the type to have many friends. I don’t trust girls, and have gone through SO much drama with high school friends, and lost a lot of college friends…so friendships to me never really mattered.
When Vegas was such a bust, I told my BM…let’s just plan something chill. I could tell she was very pissed because she wanted to do Vegas, and likes things her way, but she said that’s great and KIND OF helped me plan it. I was the one doing EVERYTHING…reaching out….looking for places, etc. We finally sat down this weekend to go over everything and she put 75% of the tasks on ME. YOU look for the house we are all going to rent and PAY FOR IT, YOU book the wine tour for everyone…and I will go to Costco and get food & drinks. I was annoyed, but whatever…at least it was happening.
Turns out people are starting to back out LEFT AND RIGHT. I can’t afford it, I can only stay one night, I don’t want to drink, I don’t have a babysitter for my kids. I am SO upset and disappointed, and now at this point this is just sad and embarassing.
I really need your help – WHAT DO I DO?! I just want to email everyone and call it off!
Post # 2
I don’t know, if it were me and I was doing all the planning, footing most of the bill (and couldn’t affort it) and no one wanted to come, I’d just pull the plug on it and save the $, hassle and headache.
Post # 3
You should call it off since it sounds like you would be the one paying for it and end up getting screwed.
Post # 4
All that planning doesn’t sound like something chill to me. When is everyone planning to get into town for the wedding? Maybe you should go out for drinks a few days before the wedding. That’s chill. Renting a house is not chill.
Post # 5
sarahaileenlake: I’d email everyone and call it off, it seems like most people are having the same difficulty with taking time off and the monetary commitment.
If you have one or two very good friends, call them and see if they want to go to dinner and a show at the theatre or to a karaoke bar. It’s not a big weekend away, but it’s something small and fun for you and your best friends.
My bachelorette was dinner and karaoke one night in the town I live in. My two sisters traveled in from out of town, but that was it. We had a GREAT time!
Post # 6
Yea I would call it off. Sounds like more trouble than it’s worth.
Post # 7
I’d just call it off. It doesn’t sound like you want to do it, and it doesn’t sound like everyone really wants to/can go. Save the money and the stress, and don’t be embarrassed– it wasn’t your idea anyway!
Post # 8
Definitely call it off – go out for dinner & wine or something with your BM!
Post # 9
sarahaileenlake: Yeah, like PP’s said, I’d probably just scrap it all. If someone wants to plan a girl’s night out, that’s great. Otherwise, no. I too have friends spread throughout the country and the only thing I really, truly want from my friends is their attendence at my wedding. I don’t care about them coming to the shower, bachelorette or anything else. It would be nice but not important.
Post # 10
Thank you all! How should I go about emailing everyone? What should I say?
Post # 11
I would say something along these lines, “Hi ladies, I wanted to thank you all for wanting to attend a bachelorette for me however at this time I have too much on my plate with planning the wedding and am unable to plan a big weekend away for all of us. I appreciate the thought and we can grab drinks together hopefully when you come in for the wedding weekend. See you all soon!”
Just upbeat and short. Sorry that this is not the experience you hoped it would be.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t make mention, in your email, that people are dropping out – just say you decided on something a lot more low-key as it will be more cost effective and convenient for anyone that wants to attend. Just keep it short and simple.
Post # 13
I agree with the other PPs and I would call it off.
Sounds like a lot of work…
I would tell be as soon as possible. Tell them the original plan isn’t an option any more… they don’t need details. Then suggest the alternative option. ‘We’re getting together for drinks at X date, time, location ect.’ That way you can still get together with your friends and celebrate without having to plan a big thing yourself! Which I think is crazy. You have enough stress with the wedding.
Post # 14
sarahaileenlake: “Hi Everyone. As you know, X and I are busy planning our upcoming wedding and tending to last minute details. With that in mind, I feel as though I cannot devote the necessary time or energy towards planning my bachelorette party. Please consider the bachelorette party cancelled. We continue to look forward to sharing our special day with you all!”
Post # 15
sarahaileenlake: Email and say that the new plan is not working out, and if anyone is still going to be coming in that weekend, you’d love to do something local in your area and just have a girls night.