Bachelorette/Bachelor Party Disappointment

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

tanya4285:  Your feelings are perfectly legitimate. Your MOH did a lousy job at planning your bachelorette. Is she always this self centered?

Post # 4
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have a feeling any advice or response you get is going to be construed as “rude”, but I’ll post mine anyway.

First of all, I read your other thread complaining about the 2 bridesmaids that haven’t stepped up and you got a lot of good advice on that thread – no one is excited about your wedding as you are.

That being said, it is not anyone’s responsibility to “make you feel special”, as you put it.  If the fact that you’re getting married doesn’t make you feel special enough (just the fact alone that my FI wants to marry me is enough to give me butterflies!) then I think your expectations are WAAAAAAAYYYY too high.

I don’t think anything your MOH did was focusing solely on herself.  She invited her friends; does she know any of yours?  To me, she took the time out to throw you a party.  SHE was the hostess – not you – you don’t get to dictate where the party was held.  So what if she too you to a “trashy dive bar”?  I hate to say it but you are coming across as very ungrateful.

So are you really asking if you should say something to her?  What on earth would you say that wouldn’t make you come across as a bridezilla?  You are seriously “in tears” over your bachelorette party?

I’m a tough love kind of person and I only say these things so you can step back and see how you’re acting.  I wouldn’t say anything.  Thank her for the party.  The only thing she has to do is show up to the wedding.  Anything else is just gravy.

Post # 5
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

tanya4285:  You have every right to be upset. I would be livid if my girls threw together what yours did Your MOH is your FSIL? How close are you to her? I’m so sorry 🙁

Post # 9
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

tanya4285:  My definition is to show up and stand by me for the wedding.  That’s it.  The reason why people have a MOH is because she is your official witness.  Just like the best man is the groom’s official witness.

Maybe I’m just a little more laid back than many brides on this site.  Sure it would be nice if I was thrown an awesome party, but I would never expect that.

Actually the whole history behind having bridesmaids were so that evil spirits were confused as to who was the bride; BM used to dress like the bride herself.  It’s only recently that BM are expected to have “duties”.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

tanya4285:  You know what, if it was me in your shoes, I’m not gonna lie, I would be REALLY upset too. I would be really disappointed. 

Regardless of what you think, what she did reflects on her to everyone that was there (your friends, other BMs, etc.) That’s probably what I would tell myself. She looked however she looked to everyone else there too.

And this sounds lame, but it would take me a while to get over it. 

Post # 12
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ButterflyButterfly:  You are correct. All the MOH is required to do is get the dress and show up on the day.

However, if she chose to host a bachelorette party, that means making plans to ensure that the guest of honor has a good time. The hostess doesn’t invite her girlfriends and then ignore the guest of honor for the rest of the night. That is just plain shabby behavior.

 

Post # 14
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would be upset too. If the tables were turned, I’d NEVER do that to a girlfriend of mine if I were her bridesmaid.

Post # 15
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

tanya4285:  That sounds horrible. Why would she invite her friends to a party in your honor if you don’t hang out with them, now that sounds rude.

Seems like she didn’t even care and that’s your MOH, I would be sad too. 

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