Bachelorette/MOH drama

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would have your party earlier even if it meant doing something besides going to the beach. I think it’s unreasonable to ask your sister to travel back a week earlier and leave her boyfriend to pick up her things just for your party. I also think it’s unreasonable for your family to want you to back out of the photography job. Just do it earlier when schedules aren’t as crazy, and change the original plan as needed.

Post # 3
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

So your sister doesn’t come, problem solved. I can’t believe they would suggest making FMIL lose out on income for your sister just refusing to fly a week earlier. 

Post # 4
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MrsS_to_be:  your FMIL can get a different 2nd shooter? or your sister doesn’t go to your bachelorette? Or you don’t go to the beach?

it sounds like money’s tight all around, so maybe a night out on the town during the summer is best. 

Post # 5
Member
6030 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You don’t have to have every single person on your invite list actually be at your bachelorette party, especially if some of the schedule conflicts have to do with stuff like moving and international flights. Pick the date that works best for you, and be reasonable when people have other obligations. It doesn’t sound like anyone is trying to ditch you out of spite or meanness, and it does sound a bit unrealistic that you’re expecting your sister to change her travel dates and such.

Post # 6
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

You’re going to have to either have it earlier,  have it the weekend before the wedding or not have your sister there… it sucks but I think those are your only options

Post # 7
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

MrsS_to_be:  I agree with PPs. Either move your party to a different spot that is cheaper or have it the weekend before. I think it’s unreasonable to ask your sister to change her plans around especially considering the original plan was to have it on a different weekend. 

Post # 8
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

MrsS_to_be:  yeah sometimes you just can’t make everybody happy. do what other people have suggested… either have it when it’s possible for everyone to attend or do it on the booked date and accept that your sis won’t be able to join. 

Post # 9
Member
9532 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well, luckily for you, you don’t even really need to have a bachelorette! I agree with PPs that you absolutely cannot back out on your FMIL. And I wouldn’t ask your sister to change her plans about going to London to get her apartment together – I think that’s way more important than a bachelorette. 

So I suggest picking a cheaper option that you can do earlier in the summer. Or go the weekend prior to the wedding. Both soudn like good options to me!

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Have it the weekend before (you’ll still have all week to do any last minute errands) or have it way before your wedding in August (which to me seems strange, but you do you).

Yes, your sister could have given more consideration to you when making her plans, but she didn’t. It’s unreasonable to ask her to change them if she doesn’t offer to. You also can’t back out on FMIL. 

Post # 11
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Your MoH is under no obligation to throw you a party. She cleary can’t do it when you want her to; and you can’t do it when she’d be able to. It also sounds like money is tight for her right now, so personally, I’d feel guilty making her spend it on a beach house rental. Either rethink what you want or don’t have one. It’s not the end of the world. Sometimes life steps in and we aren’t able to have the perfect experience we picture in our minds. Does that suck? Yeah, but in the scheme of things, you have to remember the important thing is marrying your partner with your family and friends there to celebrate with you, not a party at the beach. 

Post # 12
Member
870 posts
Busy bee

Technically you don’t plan your own bach or have any say other than ‘busy this weekend, free on this one’. All that really needs to happen is your sister plans around these 2 weekends. You can’t back out on fmil. There’s a contract signed. 

Post # 13
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

And you didn’t tell your family how dare they ask you to leave that other bride in the lurch?

Post # 14
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Bachelorette parties are made out to be a bigger deal then they actually are (in my opinion anyway). Like others have mentioned, your MOH is not obligated to throw you a party. That said, nobody is! People who stand with you at the wedding are there to support you and your marriage. It sounds like she will be there with you for the wedding, which is the important thing.

As far as the party, take the bull by the horns and book it earlier if you feel a party is necessary. Make it low key if you have to. But don’t back out on your FMIL, especially for this!

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