Post # 1
I have read posts from several women that are completely against and hurt by the tradition of the “stag party.” In my opinion, those parties seem to be more for the buddies than the man getting married. The goal seems to be to embarass him more than tempt him to do wrong. That said, I have been married before and felt completely betrayed by my first husband’s actions at his bachelor party, of course his charecter and choices are a whole other story! Since I have been through this before (even though it was 17 years ago!) and know exactly what bothered me about the situation I have asked my fiance to abide by the following rules for his bachleor party:
1. No prostitutes, this includes women that call themselves dancers or entertainers that will do “extra” things for more money.
2. No ex-girlfriends. You would think this would be a given but you would be suprised what buddies will do!
3. No videotape of the party or any pictures of my fiance with another woman.
Since I didn’t say “No bachelor party!” and I asked for reasonable concessions I have no doubt that my finace will behave and feels good that I trust him. Good enough that he would not want to break that trust. I imagine they will go to a topless bar or Hooters. Pretty tame compared to some but I bet if I forbade a party his buddies would push him into something crazier and it would cause conflict. The less rules a person has the less likely they are to break them!
This is all just my rambling opinion, I do not mean to upset or offend anyone. If you disagree with the whole concept of a bachelor party you have every right to make different choices. This is just what is working for me!
Post # 3
@Miss Rosie: My rule is strippers only in a club. No strippers in a private hotel room. That will be a dealbreaker for me. I would seriously cancel the wedding if he betrayed me like that.
Post # 4
i have a no strip club, no stripper, no nothing rule! but i am not afraid to admit that part of this comes from my own insecurity. Lucky for me, FI has no interest, so its a non-issue. but had i stayed with my ex (who i was with for 4 years), it would have been a major issue! so i remember the negative feelings that go around this.
Post # 5
i guess the only rule was no kissing, touching the working gals
i had no issue with my hubbys b party having strippers and a live girls sex show. apparently there ended up being 2 groups of guys on the night, one group was loud and in the front row, the other group (inc hubby) was out the back eating, having a quite drink and talking/catching up
Post # 6
Good rules.. I might do the same. I read a shocking story on IndieBride about the break-up of a marriage over the “strippers” who provide extra services. I also had an ex tell me all about this raunchy bachelor’s party he attended.. I had trouble looking at those guys for a while! I don’t mind if they go look at girls dance or something, but “feeding the kitty” or some other such game is a deal breaker for me.
Post # 7
@Miss Tattoo: Thats my rule too. FBIL’s bachelor party was at a hotel and they had the strippers go there. I won’t go into specifics here but should you be interested in hearing the things that went on, feel free to PM me.
I dont have a problem with strippers or lap dances, for that matter. I trust FI and I know he would never do anything to hurt me. With that said, HE has made it clear to his brother that he doesn’t want strippers (he finds them repulsive) and his brother actually said “I don’t give a F what you want”. THIS I have a problem with. FI would much prefer to just hit up some bars with the guys or go to a comedy show (my idea but he loved it) but since his brother is his best man, I just know that he’s going to go against FI’s wishes and have strippers. Hmm, last I checked the bachelor party should be what the GROOM wants, right?
Post # 8
The boys can partake in fun, embarrassing, and drunken activities that do not involve paying women for any sort of entertainment.
Post # 9
@Miss Tattoo: agreed! though the only time FI has ever been to a strip club was with me and some mutual friends after quite a few hours of drinking. so i dont worry too much about his bachelor party.
Post # 10
Those sound like very good rules.
Post # 11
I don’t have any rules. I really couldn’t care less where he goes or what he does. Hell, I’d go along if they’d let me! Reallistically though, my fiance is revolted by all those kinds of things and doesn’t have many friends here (he just moved) so I doubt that there will even BE a bachelor party, and that even if by some miracle there was, that he would allow anything gross to happen. Who knows, though.
Post # 12
@UpstateCait: “I don’t give a F what you want”
so true, my hubby said that his b-party was the party that the organizer wished he always had – my hubby said that our wedding was just the excuse the guy needed to arrange it