@VegasSukie: Oh honey, I know JUST what you are going through, Mr. 99 injured his shoulder right before we were married and that was almost five years ago….we’ve been through a lot and I totally understand how you can feel so small, insignifcant and totally indentured to that crooked and faceless cheater, “Pain”
What saved us, was completely open communication, suspension of judgement or action and activating a third party perception.
The two of you have got to talk to each other, about how this affects both of you, as a unit, as people all of that, but you’ve also got to find things to talk about that are everyday things, fun things to look forward to and things you can do together. When a person is in pain, choices are limited, but I’ll tell you what, video games are actually a pretty fun way to team up and conquer space or the battlefield together and with an online community, it’s a good way to interact with the world around you on a level that works for both of you comfortably.
I know how it is when someone is in pain, you get caught up in their state of being and let that dictate yours. He’s having a good day? Awesome! It’s going to be a good day, other way around, your day is in the crapper and you haven’t even had breakfast yet. Suspend that thought process, tell yourself that the day has just begun, he can take care of himself, and you are in charge of your day…give him space, let him deal, you take care of you….they get tired of having someone constantly watching and observing them, it’s nice to just let it go.
Finally, you need someone to get mad at, seriously, this sucks, you two have been robbed, it isn’t fair and being furious over it is normal…but where to do you point that? At him? NO! At the pain! Activate it as a living, breathing, piece of crap for the two of you to hate on and unite against together…it helps, I swear. We call Mr. 99’s pain, Reba…that bitch.
Keep your head up, take it a day at a time and remember, the hardest fights aren’t won over who swings the hardest punch, it’s about who can stand on their feet longer. Whenever Mr. 99 starts to feel guilty about all of this and how hard it’s been on us, I always tell him, “No matter how long I’ve been in the ring, when it comes to you, I’ve always got another nine rounds left in me.”
Keep your dukes up, but take care of yourself too. It gets better if you tackle it together!