- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
So I wrote two posts regarding the messy situation I find myself in with my now ex- fiance. Its been 7 weeks now, and things only seem to get worse.
Basically, I laid it out on the line; I told him how I felt about him, and us, and that I wanted to work it out, with the help of my therapist. He declined, saying whenever he sees a therapist, it brings up childhood trauma he is unequipped to deal with. I tried to explain that she would just talk about things in the context of our relationship. He said he wasn’t ready. So, I gave him back the ring, which I have felt terrible about since, but what’s done is done, I suppose.
He emailed me last week to give me the rest of my stuff, since it was ‘too hard’ for him to have it at the house. I got my stuff, and stayed strong. He emails me today, and reminds me that I’m on his cell plan..and to take myself . off, when I can. Believe me dude. I am painfully aware. We .just signed a two year contract like three months ago.
Then he says he hopes I’m doing well..I’d be a hell of a lot better if I had my damn life back, but yeah im great. I get it, he’s done. He wants to forget me, and I know I should be enraged. But all I can do is be sad; wonder what I could . have done differently, and what the hell happened to us. I mean things werent perfect, but I thought we were in love. He put a ring on it, he put money down on our venue, and . now its like we are strangers.
You plan your life to be a certain way, and then in a moment, its all gone. I probably wont ever know what happened.
I just miss him and us, and don’t know what to do. I mean I stay busy, I work out, I see my friends I try to be strong, but sometimes its just so raw.