Backing Out of A Wedding

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

@BzzyBee:  don’t feel like a crappy friend. those are unreasonable amounts of money. 

Post # 4
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yikes, what a crappy situation!  $300 is a lot for a shower!  And you are right, you don’t invoice bridesmaids.  You plan a budget with what people can afford and stick to it.  You are not a crappy friend.  The other MOH is a crappy person.  I’m actually disappointed with the bride for not sticking up for you.  

Post # 5
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Woah, those people sound insane, you are NOT a crappy friend!!! If anything you’re even more of a friend since you’re putting up with that crazyness and still agreeing to put in the $300, which as you said is already pretty steep.  They need to check their priviledge (and a slap would probably do them good as well).  

Post # 6
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Man a living. If I was the bride, I would have streight looked at the other MOH and told her that she needs to have communication with everyone about what they could afford to pay.  I’m not being bridal dictator, so she is not allowed to be MOH dictator, espeically if I set her up as a co-MOH.

Post # 8
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@BzzyBee:  I’m sorry but the bride should have put the MOH in her place. You HAVE money to be a part of the wedding, but not many people have unlimited funds to do whatever the hell they want with. Does the bride know the details of how a) MOH is talking to you? b) The amount of $$ she’s asking and also how do you know the other BM are okay with spending that much money? 

Post # 9
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BzzyBee:  You are too sweet!  But I disagree and think that the bride does need to put her MOH in place.  She’s not choosing and she doesn’t have to be mean about it, but she should stick up for you and be firm with the MOH.

Alternatively, you can send the MOH here and we’ll put her in her place!

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

@BzzyBee:  I am so sorry but I don’t think that you are being a bad friend. If anything this other MOH is being a terrible friend.

It sounds to me like she did not want to share her MOH title and decide to try to force you out instead of being an adult and realizing the day is not about her.

You did the right thing and probobly saved yourself a lot of stress in the long run.

I know it stinks and you feel like your letting your friend down but buy stepping down and just being a guest you are resolving issues with the wedding party. The bride won’t have to deal with arguments and hostility and you can still be their for her on her big day. 

In my opinion by stepping down you ARE being a good friend. You’re saving your friend from dealing with stress, you’re saving yourself from dealing with stress, and you’re potentially saving your friendship. How would you feel if you stayed in and continued to have nothing but problems? After the wedding you’d want very little to do with any of these people and it would be sad to lose such a long friendship over something like this. 

Post # 12
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@BzzyBee:  Shame on that bride for not defending you and making it CLEAR to that other POS MOH that not everyone has to fork over limitless amounts of money and she should have been more sympathetic about your budget instead of SHAMING YOU in front of the bride.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@BzzyBee:  what the hell kind of shower costs $1500?? Can I please be invited? Will there be cupcakes topped with gold? It’s also really messed up of her to say “if you cant afford it you shouldnt be part of the wedding party” as if thats her decision! I understand you backing out but this lady is a nightmare. You’re still a great friend and can participate in all the things honoring your friend (shower, bachelorette, etc).

Post # 16
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@BzzyBee:  I am so sorry you were put in this situation. I cannot imagine being forced to pay $300 just for the bridal shower! I agree that the co-moh was probably feeling competetive because she was sharing the title and I think that is really sad. I commend you for stepping down when you did. I know that was not an easy decision for you to make and I hope that you are able to move past the guilt since it honestly is not your fault. I hope that you are able to enjoy the day as a guest and not have another worry in the world about it.

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