Winging it on your honeymoon location
more by yogigal
Mothers' Outfit Issue
Do people REALLY do this?
more in Etiquette
In-Laws NOT bringing gifts...
Help me find these cake stands!
more in Boards
J. Crew  "Cecilia" in Champagne, $99.99 + 20% off

BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member
    419 posts
    Helper bee
    yogigal    June 27, 2009   Chicago (married in Philly)

    Just a quick morning vent -

    I recieved an email on FB last night: "lost the invite, I'll be there.  I'll eat whatever meal option you want" 

    Next, I just got a call at work from a friend of my Mom's from College who I have not seen in 16 years!!!!!!! 

    "Hi yogigal gal, this is your mom's annoying courtesy invite friend, I'm calling to find out when your wedding is" GASP.  I didn't think she would come :(

     I said "Oh, wow, hi, how are you? Didn't you get the invite?" 

    Annoying courtesy guest - "yes, I just can't find it and want to put in my vacation time today, can't wait to see you, I have been hearing so much about all the big fancy plans"

    Seriously, I think next time all guests should get daily rsvp etiquette emails.  I didn't include the little forever stamp just to get bothered at work and it is not an event on facebook that you can click yes or no for!!!

     
    2.
    Hostess
    2,606 posts
    Sugar bee
    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    Ugh.  I don't think people realize how important it is to mail back the RSVP.

    I was constantly referring back to the originals to make sure I had everyone in my spreadsheet, etc.  You can't remember every FB message, phone call, voicemail, text message!!!

     
    3.
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    Vic004    May 09   Sonoma/San Jose, ca

    Oh my gosh, I would be so annoyed at the phone call. Courtesy guest? What are you supposed to say about that? I guess she just wants to connect with you about your wedding.  At least they want to tell you they will be attending and not calling you at work to decline! That is hilarious about the facebook yes or no event!! ahha!

    Attachments

    1. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img Aqua_satin_and_lime_satin.jpg (124.9 KB, 29 downloads) 1 year old
    2. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img cocktail_tables.jpg (91.3 KB, 37 downloads) 1 year old
     
    4.
    Member
    4,481 posts
    Honey bee
    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    OK. Wow. The FB one is pretty bad. Somehow I can see 1 or 2 of my friends doing that on my wall. To which I will promptly reply get on our wedding site and RSVP!!!

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    638 posts
    Busy bee
    FutureMrsMorgan    May 9, 2009   Los Angeles, CA

    yeah...it sucks but i'll admit that before i started planning my wedding, I was someone who forgot to mail the card in and would just call/email/text.  Im still irritated with people who are not following protocol...but now I am limiting my irritation to people that got married LAST YEAR so they know how stressful this whole RSVP-ing crap can be...

     
    6.
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    Sparkles    ~*A June 2009 Bride*~   Ca

    At this point, I am just glad to hear from whoever we invited whether they are coming or not. (But we didn't provide RSVP envelopes with stamps, we asked people to RSVP on our wedding website)

    I can understand why you are frustrated. But on the bright side- at least you didn't have to hunt them down!

    Attachments

    1. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img VID1446.jpg (80 KB, 36 downloads) 1 year old
    2. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img 2009-04-25_Vidas_Wedding_0631.jpg (502.4 KB, 34 downloads) 1 year old
    3. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img 2009-04-25_Vidas_Wedding_0531.jpg (1083.8 KB, 42 downloads) 1 year old
    4. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img VID1665.jpg (53.6 KB, 32 downloads) 1 year old
    5. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img Dress1.jpg (2152.9 KB, 30 downloads) 1 year old
     
    7.
    Hostess
    800 posts
    Busy bee
    LittleBear    June 28, 2009   Chicago/beach wedding in NC

    On Facebook? Really?!?! Wow, that's a liitle weird! haha! Hope you start getting some cards back in the mail!

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,492 posts
    Bumble bee
    amysue    6/6/09  

    We have people verbally rsvping *to my mom* who is just updating our online guest list. On the one hand I guess that's convenient, but on the other hand it's really annoying -- just stick the card back in the mail and send it to us, already. We stamped it for you and everything. I also worry that people who just verbally RSVP aren't as certain about coming as people who send the card in... siiiiiiiiiiigh.

     
    9.
    Member
    419 posts
    Helper bee
    yogigal    June 27, 2009   Chicago (married in Philly)

    I think I'm most annoyed with the Facebook rsvp.  I wrote back, fine I'm putting you down for 1.  I invited her with a guest, but I'm taking her guest option away on the grounds of breaking rsvp rules :)  She knows better, she works in catering! Particulary, the I'll eat whatever, comment.  She knows I need to give the caterer a count!

    On a good note - the REAL rsvp cards are coming in daily!! I have been going home during lunch to check the mail because I'm obessed BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Icon Razz

     
    10.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Um, people have been calling my FMIL to RSVP to my wedding. Even though on the invitation it lists MY HOME PHONE NUMBER AND OUR WEBSITE. 

    I'm sick of it. People are so dumb!!!!

     

     
    11.
    Hostess
    2,252 posts
    Buzzing bee
    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    Well, they lost the invites, which is aggravating but not that horrible. Given that situation, what would you prefer them to do? Not tell you anything? Not come?

    It's still aggravating though :)

    Attachments

    1. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img candy.jpg (44.1 KB, 90 downloads) 1 year old
     
    12.
    Member
    1,864 posts
    Buzzing bee
    mary-alice-me    May 24, 2009   Kentucky

    I can see the frustration in people misplacing your invitations, but I agree that it's better to hear from them one way or another than having to reach out to them again or not hear at all. I think that because we don't use formal etiquette very often in our daily lives people don't realize that it's important to respond formally to your formal invitation. I can understand it's probably inappropriate and distracting to get a call at work, but you may just try to let it go and be happy these people want to celebrate with you.

     
    13.
    Hostess
    5,572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    HA!  I've been getting family members stopping me when I see them and saying "do I have to ascually RSVP?  You know I'm coming, right?"

    Ugh! That's not the point!

     Anyway, we feel you.  That is really annoying. 

    Attachments

    1. BAD RSVP Etiquette - 1 on Facebook, 1 call to my job :  wedding rsvps 1 Img IMG_6731.JPG (1191.2 KB, 66 downloads) 1 year old
     
    14.
    Hostess
    7,632 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    MightySapphire      

    I think I'd be relieved they at least contacted me!  Some people lose the RSVP and then just show up!!

     
    15.
    Hostess
    1,426 posts
    Bumble bee
    Miss Burgundy    May 28, 2010   Southern California

    Honestly, I don't see what the big problem is!! They lost the invite, it's a totally honest mistake so they clearly can't send back the RSVP if they don't have it!

     
    16.
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    BebehSmile    10/09/2010   High Desert, CA

    I don't have FB nor will i create a page for the sake of the wedding. I will also NOT have a wedding website so its RSVP or they are SOL.  If you don't RSVP - NO SOUP FOR YOU! (Seinfeld Anyone?)

     

     
    17.
    Member Icon
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    cmarie413    September 18, 2010   San Francisco, CA

    The FB RSVP is really too much...seriously, people's lack of tact these days is appalling sometimes.

    LOL BebehSmile (huge Seinfeld fan)...I've had daydreams of turning away some of my FI's "family friends" at the door because I KNOW they will either NOT RSVP or will bring along extra guests.

     
    18.
    Member
    1,575 posts
    Bumble bee
    jaylii9    September 5, 2010  

    The facebook thing happened to me, but for a family BBQ that FI and I were hosting. My cousin had not RSVPed and we were a week away from the BBQ so I asked her sister when I talked to her if she knew if B was coming. B's sister was not sure, I told her I would follow up with B. A couple of hours later, before I followed up, B sent me a message on facebook that said "Hey K told me that you wanted to know if I am coming next week. So, I am and I am bringing a date"

    Um, great. I thought it was pretty rude because I sent out a big evite invitation for my family and they were supposed to RSVP on that. Second, I was inviting her to a family BBQ and was miffed why she needed to bring a date. It's not like my cousin is 16, she is a 40 yo divorcee who sees a lot of different guys.

    In any case, RSVPing for a wedding via facebook is worse, but I thought I would share this story as well. Hopefully this cousin doesn't RSVP for the wedding this way and tell me that she is bringing a date, ha

     
    19.
    Member
    9,963 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    eek i'm going to be in the minority here..... these are not ideal situations but i don't think they're a huge deal. sorry :/

     
    20.
    Hostess
    9,018 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    yeah, I'm with CorgiTales - technology is inevitable, why not just embrace it? I mean, if you keep all your info on a spreadsheet, and you got a response on facebook, aren't you like three clicks away from your spreadsheet anyway? ...they're both on the computer.

    I dunno, seems like a convenient solution to me.

    As for your mom's friend, I would've just been like, "I'll have my mom give you a call later with the information." and let mom handle her.

     
    21.
    Member
    1,410 posts
    Bumble bee
    Miss Pinot Grigio    March 21, 2009   Indianapolis, IN

    I feel your pain! I was so frustrated with everyone who decided a "word-of-mouth" RSVP was a good reason to waste a stamp. Weddings guests today need some serious etiquette lessons.

     
    22.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    7,343 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    scissors    June 19, 2010   Atlanta, Ga

    lolol! I still can't understand why it is SO HARD to drop the pre-stamped and addressed thing in the male. Jebus.

     

    On the other hand, at least they RSVPed. :p

     
    23.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    1,480 posts
    Bumble bee
    mssushi    March 2009   Hershey, PA / Kaneohe, HI

    Umm...soo the other day I totally got invited to wedding...by Facebook Events. No kidding. Mind you, it was a very last minute wedding (30 days out). But seriously? A facebook event invite for a wedding?! They even asked what meal you wanted in the event description.

     
    24.
    Member
    1,783 posts
    Buzzing bee
    honeybun    June 5, 2010   VA

    I'm in the minority too, but I wouldn't mind.  If I know you're coming I'll just mark you down as coming.  Doesn't matter how I found out you're coming!

     
    25.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    7,343 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    scissors    June 19, 2010   Atlanta, Ga

    @mssushi- Wow, that is a ... different... approach.

     
    26.
    Member
    607 posts
    Busy bee
    Bella Luna    September 5, 2010   Ohio

    I think I'd have to say that the worst between the two would be courtesy guest calling at work. You should have been like "Um, do you think I carry my wedding stuff to work with me? No." LOL. I am thinking we will do RSVP post cards and have RSVP on our website for those who would rather do it that way (although I have some great aunts and uncles who aren't tech savy and would have to call to RSVP if they couldn't mail it back).

    -Bella 

     
    27.
    Member
    414 posts
    Helper bee
    Miss Damask    January 10, 2010   Fort Worth, Texas

    I once got invited to a wedding by the groom via a facebook post on my wall... I went, cause he's a crazy friend from college, it was in my hometown and that's his style. Later I wondered if he neglected to get and give his wife the addresses for the people he invited that way(At least 5 of us in a group from college) or if some people didn't RSVP so there was room...I didn't really care, but that's the most laid-back wedding invite I've ever gotten.

     
    28.
    Member
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    JoeyEmma    1st Aug 2010   England

    I have to admit that I lost an RSVP card the other month. It had been in my handbag, and then I moved it in to another handbag, and then another, thinking "next time I walk past a post box I will post it!". Needless to say, I couldnt find it when I was at a post box and had to phone up and RSVP by phone. I did RSVP to the brides mum, as she was who the RSVP card was made out to. I did apologise!

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.

    Tags:





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ellisrobertson 24
    fishbone 21
    ndreighton 18
    MsPanda 14
    ladyartichoke 14
    aduarte3201 14
    mypinkshoes 13
    rdownie1 12
    pengoala 11
    Brielle 11

    Etiquette

    User Posts Today
    fishbone 4
    lilgrizzlygirl 3
    thursdayschild 3
    eagle 3
    tnanog 3
    SapphireSun 2
    Brielle 2
    likelimeade 2
    SoonToBeSLP 2
    bridgetsierra 2
    More