Post # 1
He has the engagement ring in the house, he showed it to me, let me try it on, said I was getting it on our anniversary in two months. And then cheated on me as soon as I was gone from the country on a three-week trip to visit family. With two different people. I need your help so I can get nice and angry and have that be the prevalent emotion here. He said he had been waiting to break up until I got back so as not to ruin my trip, but he’d been incommunicative so I finally got it out of him. After four years, I can’t believe it. I want to be angry, but I also don’t want the good times we had to be tainted. I know all the good in him better than anyone.
He was getting ready to move to another city for grad school, and we were going to be long distance for only 8 months. We were talking in detailed ways about plans for me moving there, about to be engaged, talking about kids. We’re 23 and 25, BTW.
I’m so in shock. I can’t figure out what was real, and what was fake. We had discussed getting engaged, but he went ahead and got the ring, and was happily talking about picking it out, about wanting to surprise me with a proposal. I don’t want to have our good four years tainted, he was very good to me and we WERE happy, there was a lot of love there. I cna’t believe this. My life plans are changing so drastically to dis-include him now. For heaven’s sake, we had been talking about home-schooling our kids. How do you so completely make a turnaround like this?
Post # 3
I’m sorry, not sure if I read right. You guys are 15 and 23?
Post # 4
i am so sorry you are going through this 🙁 it sounds like he just isn’t ready.
23 and 15 and you were together for 4 years? so that would make one of you 11 when you started dating? or maybe that was a typo?
Post # 5
Friends family & therapy are what you need now. I don’t know how you’re not sick and angry! The idea of my person being intimate with someone else makes me forget every good quality. You will be just fine but it will be painful for a little while. Reach out to all your people a lot.
Im so sorry this happened 🙁
Post # 6
I’m hoping thats supposed to say 23 and 25.
Either way I’m sorry your relationship ended the way it did, but at least you haven’t wasted money on a wedding ect.
Post # 7
@asscherlover: Yeah, she mentions in a different post that they are both grad students. So unless one of them is a kid genius, I think it was just a typo.
Post # 8
I just chaged it to 25, oops
Post # 9
You dodged a bullet. Do your best to move on from this jerk. He will cheat again. Hugs and good luck!
Post # 10
This sucks. I doubt there anything I can see to make it better. All I can say is one day you hopefully will look back and be happy it happened now and not after you been married with a few kids.
I wonder if he had cold feet or something and instead of putting his big boy panties on and speaking to you about it, he did it this way.
Post # 11
To clarify, he wasn’t intimate exacty, it was a random makeout with a mutual friend, and “feelings” for yet another friend. Which is BS, clearly he can’t commit to anything, he’s just playing the field. I could forgive a kiss, but I can’t forgive the underlying deception of being just about to get engaged and then this turnaround.
“I wonder if he had cold feet or something and instead of putting his big boy panties on and speaking to you about it, he did it this way.”
That’s exactly it! I think.
Post # 12
Oh move on for sure. You can do better!
Post # 13
I’m sorry it happened to you, but at least you know now and can move on before you’re bound together in a marriage. He cheated on you, end of story. Get a guy who treats you how you deserve!
Post # 14
Ok here it is I’m going to say it- You are only 23, go out and have fun and forget about serious talk of home schooling children for the time being. You say we were happy etc, well it seems like you were and he wasn’t.
Same thing happened me, only difference was he actually slept with other women and then he married one of them. I didn’t see it at the time, but he did me a massive favour and now I’m with a guy who I want to marry and he wants me in the same way and I’m expecting our first baby. I’m glad things didn’t get any further with Mr sleep-around, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
Post # 15
Look at it this way, at least he didn’t string you along all the while you two were long distance. At least you’ve found out that he has no loyalty and values your relationship so little BEFORE you invest any more time.
Post # 16
If he couldn’t last 3 weeks with you gone on vacation without cheating on you, there’s no way he would have lasted in an 8 month LDR without cheating. There are too many men out there who don’t cheat for you to spend your life with, no need to waste any more time on this one.