Bad Waiting Day – just a fight or what?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

Our SO’s sound sort of alike. I am the one to blow up and he will say nothing and the next day act as if nothing happened. When my SO is upset or frustrated he doesn’t want to talk about it maybe because he could end up saying something he might regret? I know everytime I have a fight with my SO I think “He’ll never marry me if I keep this up”, but that just isn’t the case. Everyone has bad days. I’m sure your SO was tired or stressed from his trip and it didn’t have anything in particular to do with you.

…Or maybe’s he’s “distant” because he is getting close to proposing and so worried he will ruin the surprise that he doesn’t want to talk too much!!!

Post # 3
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Try and put the waiting thing to the side for the moment. Why was he acting all quiet and distant? Do you think it has anything to do with waiting/marriage. If not then I don’t see why you felt the need to get into that when fighting with him. 

 

Maybe hes upset or worried about something. Maybe he did something bad whilst he was away. Or maybe you were reading into something that wasn’t there. There could be any number of things going on. But turning that into an argument about waiting seems really illogical to me. Focus on the relationship not the proposal. 

Post # 6
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My DH can be like that when’s he’s stressed about stuff (and he’ll put on a brave face for other people). In his eyes he’s trying to be strong and deal with things himself – he doesn’t get why it drives me nuts! So that might be all it is. Give him a little bit of time, and in the meantime maybe try doing something nice for him as a surprise and see how he reacts. 

Post # 7
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

sarahsonata:  if my DH was being non-responsive to me I’d have to assume he was very upset with me and I would have insisted on some communication the next day. I wouldn’t try to discuss the proposal at all (he has the ring and 2 months isn’t that long, and you have a vacation coming up), only the fact that he was treating me badly and want to know if he was upset with me for something.

Post # 9
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read posts similar to this and they ALL have happy endings. After I write this comment I’ll go see if I can dig them up. You went ring shopping two months ago. Assuming he had the money at the time or soon after shopping, two months is just enough time to buy a ring and order the correct size and order in the diamond/gem he wants. You are going on week long holiday in a few weeks! Weeks! Not months! Calm down! I am SURE that it will happen soon, really, really soon. 

As for his current behaviour, you don’t know the number of times that Bees have talked about their boyfriend acting cold and distant and weird, weeks before proposing. Why? Because they are nervous! And because they are so, so set on making it a surprise that they fear that acting too lovey dovey will give it away, so instead they go super overboard with acting cold and distant. 

STOP asking about the proposal, just STOP. You are going to ruin it. It will happen. And it will happen soon. I can just feel it. 

If nothing changes after your holiday, then bring it up.

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