- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I’m embarrassed to say I had a break down yesterday. It was brought on by a slew of things…
- My birthday on Sunday with no proposal (I wasn’t expecting it; it’s just another year older… you know?)
- My mom texting me the next day if I had any “big news,” unprompted
- A coworker asking me yesterday if SO and I were “common law” yet
SO had mentioned before that he does want to marry me and nothing is holding him back from proposing except being lazy. He has money, we have a house, and we are both fairly established in our careers. I tried to explain to him in a calm composed way that him being “lazy” was really not a good excuse considering the effect it was having on me.
Well yesterday it all got to me. He’s been talking for months about getting shocks for his truck. He’s been researching, posting on forums, finding out all the pros and cons and bang for your buck… the usual stuff you do when looking to buy something fairly expensive. He told me yesterday that after a lot of consideration he finally found some and bought them (~$2K).
I broke down. I told him it felt like he cared about his stupid shocks for his truck more than me (I know this isn’t true, I was just feeling really sad). He says he hasn’t proposed yet because he’s too lazy to get a ring and just doesn’t have one yet, but then he goes and spends two full months researching, pricing, and buying shocks for his truck? Which he didn’t even need to make it drivable, he just wants it to ride smoother.
Last November he bought a different truck. He almost didn’t buy it. He told a mutual friend that he wasn’t sure if he should buy it because he thought he might need to “put a ring on it.” Minus the fact that I hate that expression, I was at least happy it was on his mind, even after he decided to buy the truck. Well that was last November. And he still hasn’t “put a ring on it.”
We bought a house a year ago. I told him before we ever bought it that I was worried about buying a house without a commitment and he assured me it wasn’t an issue and that it would be coming “soon.” He’s been saying “soon” for about two years now.
I know I’m rambling and none of this stuff is related to each other, but I’m just emotionally exhausted. I love this guy with all my heart and he treats me really well. I’m just fed up with waiting. I think a lot of it has to do with me just being emotional. I let everything get to me yesterday. I feel a bit better today, but am still embarrassed that I broke down.
Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for listening to me vent. I think I need to learn to not let things bother me. I’m sure he is blissfully unaware of how pent up all my frustration is, but hey, that’s how guys operate right?