Bad waiting day vent

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee

girlllll i know exactly how you feel! SO has bought so many expensive things over the 8 years, & 9 months we’ve been together. We bought a house together a year & a half ago. We both have excellent jobs. I’m still waiting.

At least last year when he contemplated buying a $70k Lexus, and i told him if he bought that car & there wasnt a ring in the front seat, i was leaving, he listened. It makes you feel like a fool. Why is he able to buy all these toys without buying that one thing for me? I get it.

Is your SO a bit of a sneaky bastard?? Mine is. I know he has been doing hella research on rings for the last year & a half or so, and my proposal should come any day now. But, it did take this long to get here.

Like everyone preaches on the waiting boards- enjoy this moment in your relationship! in a blink of the eye, you wont be “boyfriend & girlfriend” anymore. You’ll be busy with planning a wedding, then having kids, and before you know it, youll be 65 and retired. So enjoy these relaxing times of it just being the 2 of you without any pressure. It’ll all be worth it!

Post # 4
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  I honestly think that you did the right thing. You let him know how frustrated you are. I would be too. I think he is just too relaxed about the situation.

My SO and me are looking into buying or building a house. Recently he told me that New Years would meet him living in our home. I told him that there is no way I would be doing that with out a proposal. He told me that that was of the least importance. I’m waiting a little over a year now and we have been together since 2005. That statement irritated me!

Maybe your SO could stash away enough money in a short space of time to buy you that ring. Maybe you meltdown gave him the kick in the pants that he needs. 

Post # 5
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@NotablySidedJP:  Good for you for voicing your frustration with him!  I lived with my bf for over 2 years without a ring and it was hard for me because he kept talking about marrying me but nothingw as happening.  Low and behold he was being sneaky and made trips to the diamond district without me knowing.

Post # 6
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  I know how you feel! It’s so frustrating to sit by and wait, when you know that it could have happened, or sould have happened by now.

Good for you for remaining calm when you told him that the “lazy” excuse isn’t good enough–I don’t know how calm I would have been, especially when his laziness wasn’t an issue when it came to his truck. Have you offered to research rings together? This will help take some of the pressure off of him and instead of him playing a guessing game of what you might want, you can clearly show him. My fiancé and I went ring shopping together…it was areally great experience for several reasons.

 

As a PP said, try to enjoy the good times together, and focus on the fact that you have someone who loves you (I often had to remind myself of that when I was waiting for him to propose) 

Post # 10
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

@NotablySidedJP:  I would be frustrated to with him buying expensive things, instead of a engagement ring he’s made alot of promises to you awhile back that he isn’t living up too. I don’t know whether he’s leading you on or he has a big picture in mind. Hopefully there’s a bigger plan behind his madness. Good Luck! 

Post # 13
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I get it a little bit. I asked SO what would make his life more complete. He pointed out that the new playstation is coming out soon. *facepalm*

Post # 14
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m not sure how long you have been together total, but you mention at least two years you’ve been hearing “soon.” I’m not going to say he’s leading you on, but the bottom line is people do things when they are *ready*. I do not think giving an ultimatum of any sort is a great idea, but that doesnt mean you cannot set a date in your mind. Say, 8 months. If in 8 months he hasnt taken a serious step toward proposing, you reevaluate the relationship.

I hope that he’s just planning something for you, but you have to look out for #1.

Post # 16
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  It sounds to me like you have a good plan in place, and I agree with not telling him about your idea of moving out. If the worst happened and you chose to, it’s not like he’d be utterly clueless as to why.

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