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I would just explain that it really does not bother you to not be doing the father/daughter dance, and you would rather that they have that moment to themselves.
It is entirely possible that your MIL was just trying to be kind, and trying to demonstrate that she and her husband consider you to be their daughter. If this is the case, she will completely understand if you explain to her that you appreciate her generous suggestion, but would not want to unintentionally cause distress to your stepfather by having someone else participate in the father/daughter dance.
Hm.....tough one. Your Mom sounds a lot like mine; totally awesome!
I think something as simple as "thank you so much for the offer, but I think this would be a wonderful moment for just the two of you to share" should do the trick. If you feel comfortable saying so, "I've chosen not to have a father/daughter dance" will suffice as well.
Yeah, I know she meant well and it was really sweet of her to offer. I'm just afraid that he'll come over and grab me while Mike and his mother are dancing and I wont know how to say no... I haven't had a chance to discuss it with them again and I don't know how to bring it up.
I was in pretty much the same situation as you. I really didn't want to do a father/daughter dance because my parents has a relationship similar to your parents and I'm not that close to my dad. My hubby on the other hand really wanted to share that moment with his mom. We actually had our parents cut in during our first dance so we danced with them a little, but without putting the spotlight on it being a father/dauther or mother/son dance. Everyone ended up being happy with that solution. But, who is walking you down the aisle? Maybe that should be the person who could cut in and dance with you if you went this route?
That's a good idea. Was it weird dancing with your father? My brother is walking me down the aisle... so that may not really work for me. Maybe I'll just run to the restroom right before mother/son dance so everyone will let me be! JK
I'm not going to lie, it was a little bit weird, but it was also weird dancing with some of the other male guests. As much bad crap as my dad has done, I figured he is still my dad and it was something he really appreciated and it made me feel really good giving him that moment. For you, though, I think if you have your in-laws, your mom, and your brother watching beside the dance floor during your first dance you can have your MIL cut in with your hubby and your bro can cut it with you. Shoot, and maybe your mom and FIL can dance together??
I would bring it up with the FMIL and thank her for kind gesture, but that you want them to have their moment and prefer to be out of it. I think she will understand once you tell her that you prefer for things to play out this way.
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Soo long story short my father is not a nice man. Beat my mother and she left him after I was born. Cool. I love my mother and I'm soo proud of her for leaving him and giving me a better life! She's been remarried to my step father for about 10 years and while he's a nice guy, we've never been close and I've never considered him to be a father figure in my life.
Anyways, for obvious reasons I was planning on not doing a father/daughter dance, but I wanted Mike to be able to have his mother/son dance with his mom because she's an amazing woman and I know she'll be looking forward to it.
Somehow she found out that I was not going to be doing the father/daughter dance and offered to have her husband (Mike's step-father) dance with me while she dances with Mike.
I'm not OK with this, but I don't know how to tell him no without being rude. He's an awesome guy and I love him to death, but how will that make my step dad or father in law feel?! I love them all, but I'm really not close with any of them and I'd really prefer to just stick with my original plan.
Did anyone else have to deal with something like this?