Post # 1
I am torn between how to include my Mexican family while maintaing the type of wedding I envision for me, my friends, my finance & his family.
As much as I love rice, beans and barbacoa, I do not want to serve this type of meal at my reception. (FI is firmly opposed to cow tongue on menu.) My family is notorious for being late. They typically start events several hours past their original intended time because…well, it’s just not a big deal to them. They often back out of events because…well, they just changed their mind. There are gobs of children amongst my 19 first cousins. I want an adult only reception.
My only (selfish) solution thus far is to simply exclude my tias, primas, etc and only include immediate family.
The reception is 100% self funded so the idea of spending $100 per person for each of them to an event where they wont particularly care for the food or music seems silly. Additionally, I would be very upset for them to miss the ceremony and show up an hour or more late for the reception with their children. Since the location requires 2 hrs of travel on their part, the likely hood of a last minute back out is huge.
Thoughts/suggestions from other brides to be trying to manage your desires versus cultural differences?
Post # 3
I’m not Mexican but my culture is kind of like this. It’s pay per head so I’ve let the word slip out that there will be invites and a DOC who would be outside getting everyone their escort cards and seating charts etc. Also, I’ve specifically said ‘No kids over 2 and under 15″ so that removes a huge chunk of my cousins etc. You can put on your invites “Ceremony begins and 5pm. Coctails and reception follow immediately at 6pm till 11pm” so they know that if they come after 11pm, the place would be winding down. Honestly though, I don’t expect most of my folks to be there for the ceremony or cocktail hour. They are notoriously late too!!
Post # 4
This is really hard. I can only tell you what I did…and encourage you to do what’s right for you, your Fiance, and your families. We probably had 25 no-shows, 40 kids, and 100 adults. Original guest list was 170. I am white, Darling Husband Mexican. My church friends, about 90% black. So we had the white disco dancers, Mexicans hiding tequila under the table lol, bilingual DJ, black officiant, almost got a mariachi for the ceremony but couldn’t afford it. We wondered if we should get bilingual invites, include his parents on invite, should we buy more beer than wine? Will people be offended if we blah blah blah. People were late, no seating chart 🙂
What can you really do to prevent people from doing what they’re used to? Let people be late. People might bring kids anyways, there are ALWAYS no shows at weddings, just do what you want 🙂
Not ONE PERSON RSVPed from my husbands side lol. I was told that my wedding looked ‘white’ by my in-laws, and ‘very mexican’ from my side of the family. I couldn’t please everyone, but my husband and I loved it all. We just chose what we wanted, and didn’t do anything else. For example, the money dance is tacky to some white people, but expected from DH’s family. I reeeeeallly liked the lasso idea too for the ceremony.
My advice- compromise when you CAN but don’t let anyone tell you who to invite, don’t even show them the guest list. It can get out of hand…especially when people want to invite everyone but no one wants to be a padrino/madrina lol. Good luck!!!
Post # 5
Yeah….we are doing our wedding in Mexico, but I stressed to my Fiance that it WOULD NOT be a huge wedding with all the tios, primos, etc, like his brothers have. I am a white girl from a small family and if we do it his parents way, it would be like 40 of my guests and 260 of his – no thanks. We will incorporate some Mexican traditions and bilingual touches but my parents are funding the whole things and I do not want to have and pay for a billion people I don’t know…and we will have more of a latin fusion menu-no cow tongue!