- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
My fiance and I are having our wedding out of my home state. My father and mother expressed the wish for us to have the family minister officiate at the wedding. There are some legal complications with getting him sworn in the day before by the county judge. However, my parents have offered to pay for his transportation to come to our wedding a short flight from where he lives. The church and this particular minister have been very important in my parents lives and my father pretty much never felt comfortable in a church before joining his current church 12 years ago.
The problem is my fiance feels uncomfortable with church in general although he is Christian (considers himsel spiritual but not religious). My family minister is very very progressive, is all about inclusion and tolerance, works on social justice issues, a great speaker, and generally a cool guy. However, my fiance has never met the family minister. My fiance feels uncomfortable with any church religion as an institution and thinks that my family is imposing and dominating. My fiance and I met with a reverend who does not have a congregation in the state where we are getting married. We found her online, but he felt very comfortable with her. However, my parents do not understand why we would use someone we don’t know. My fiance feels this is neutral ground then for him.
Again the problem is the timing. The minister in the state we are getting married in is extremely popular and books up quickly. My father wishes we would at least meet with the family minister to consider it.
Is there a way to have everyone feel comfortable? I also brought up flying in a Catholic brother from out of state who I have been close with since childhood ( I would have him marry us but he does not have the authority to do so). My fiance is more comfortable with this since I know the Catholic brother better than my family minister. I would propose having the Brother speak as a family friend.
Any ideas? Such an emotional topic!