Post # 1
So… this may be a little long…
My Future Mother-In-Law has always been very bad with money. She’s been bankrupt twice, and, sadly, the second time was during her divorce from FI’s dad so he got dragged down too since the papers hadn’t gone through. Anyway, we had dinner with her last night and she told us that she expects to be filing for bankruptcy again within the next month or two. But…
She told us she was going to pay for our photog and our honeymoon! We’re both students, so it’s not like we have piles of moolah kicking around. And to boot, she bought FIs car for him when he started school (ya.. not always responsible with money) and it’s under her name. She said we can sign it over to his name but I know that the bank can claim property sold within 6 months if they think it was sold in preparation for the bankruptcy.
I am sooo upset. She must have known this was coming because I know she was having money problems in the summer. I can’t believe she would make those kinds of promises when she can’t follow through. Not that there’s anything I can do. Just frustrated. -_-
Post # 3
I know how disappointed you must be, but try to be supportive of her. Hopefully your Fiance isn’t cosigned on anything with her, because of so, his credit will also be destroyed (or he will be liable for her debts).
If she has already been through bankruptcy twice before, she clearly has a problem of living within her means. Perhaps your Fiance can suggest she get counseling.
For the time being, I would suggest weighing the pros and cons of taking a honeymoon immediately following the wedding or pushing it off down the road to save up for it. At this point, it sounds like you are going to get sacked with the photographer bill.
Post # 4
I would still sign the car over to him, you never know if the bank will follow through. Do as much as you can to brace yourselves for all the repercussions (sounds like she really left you up a creek without a paddle,…
Post # 5
🙁 I’m so sorry! I don’t have any great advice, but definitely feel for you. 🙁
Post # 6
Wow, that must be difficult for the whole family! It can be really frustrating to see someone in that situation (and not doing what they should to get out!)
Can you suggest any kind of credit counseling, etc (through your fi, of course!)
Post # 7
Yikes. I guess the best you can do here is postpone your honeymoon till when you can save up for it and afford it (maybe as an anniversary trip or something?) If you haven’t already paid a deposit for the photographer, you may be able to find a fellow student or someone who is just starting out to do it for cheap.
I totally know where you are coming from because my ILs are truly awful with money. They offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and backed out in the end. (Thankfully we never actually counted on this money because we knew how they were.)
Before you get married it is important to talk through this issue to make sure you are on the same page about what to do if one of his parents loses his job or ends up on the street or whatever. Will you be taking them in? Are you guys going to support them/ take care of them in their old age? etc etc. These can be huge issues later on.
Post # 8
Oh, I’m so sorry! The photog and honeymoon are big ticket items! 🙁
Well, worst case scenario you can ask a friend to take pictures and delay the honeymoon until you can afford it. But still very sad and disappointing from FI’s Mom!
Post # 9
Thanks for the support everyone. I’ll suggest credit councilling to Fiance. I hadn’t thought of that, and it would probably be a big help.
I think we’re going to do a minimoon now, in Toronoto or Niagara falls (2 hour drive from home), and then in a few years hopefully we’ll take the trip we really wanted.
Post # 10
could he “sell” the car to you? the bank doesnt know you are engaged.